Deeply Inside

(edited)

When you feel all hope is gone, seek peace within yourself & He will give you strength!

Just Keep Swimming

Bling-Bling
Swarovski'es under the ice-cream tub lid
:p










Dear Friends,
if you've been disappointed by lack of postings, I apologise for every unfruitful trip you've made to this musty, cob-webby place that is mah' Blog. A wave of projects has swept across my academic-life that threatens to flood, spillover & drown out other aspects of me; but I reassure you that I'm still clinging on to my rubber duc.. er, dinghy.

So, to ye faithful bunch who still drop by, Thanks Very Much~! I'd wish you left me a note or two though~ Even a simple "Hello :)" or "Jiak4 Ba4 Buay3?" would be really encouraging~! =D As it is, my numerous concurrent creative-projects are squeezing me dry of creative-juice to produce nothing more than rough research sketches... Argh.. But I'll try to spice things up with a pic or two to support (or rather make up for) my wordy,weary rantings ;-)

******

By the way, bro Alvin's recent posts are National-Geographic & DiscoveryChannel worthy~!
Check out his latest post on his cute cuddly 8-legged pet; and in a previous post, huge swimming creatures ~! Eye-openers I tell you~!

******


Into the West
Not too clear here, but I thought the interplay between perspective and light in the actual scene was interesting~ :)







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When I was prayed-for by R and E recently, I listened to every comforting word they each spoke & I felt "loved" inside.. I was both touched and grateful at their gesture.. but I was also saddened, because I didn't know if the Holy Spirit would come to me at all.. "Do I even deserve His Love?",I thought.

Once again, R's suggestion for me to continue praying hard echoed within. And so it shall be.
:o)

Finding His Way

caution: marathon post(s)

Today in school, I found myself surprisingly awake; despite having only roughly 4 hours of shut-eye. Firstly, I think it was by divine intervention that i even woke up w/o hearing the alarm ring~ I discovered later that my alarm was set to ring 12 hours later than intended~! Phone-clock was mixed up between a.m. and p.m.~!

Post-Dated:
Saturday 17th July
That must have been the first service I found myself somewhat disconnected from... most of the programme... But I believe there is purpose in it all. So, the emphasis was on "missions"; since it was the church's "missions festival" after all. But then there were some interesting testimonies:

There were two young people who shared their personal experience in missionary work. They were a 26yr-old lad and a 20yr-old girl. The man had been in the "missions-field" for about 7 years now; and he said he never felt any internal struggle or hesitation when he answered His calling. The girl however, said she had totally hated the idea of getting involved in overseas missions for a long time before. This attitude, she said; somewhat stemmed from her experience with her own missionary-father. He was very active in the mission-field & would frequently ask his daughters along if not they might not see him for up to months. But alas, during a service where her church's leaders were appealing for mission-volunteers, this girl who was still apprehensive & troubled by a nagging feeling, finally found it within herself to say, "Yes, I'll go~!". & as she said that, she immediately felt more at peace inside, despite the change of heart. And somewhat ironically as well, on her maiden mission to Timor-Leste, she became the 1st amongst her family members to spend more than 6 months away on a mission.. she was there for 1 whole year in fact~! She chuckled when she mentioned that she found that she even put on 10kg from her stay there; pointing out that a missionary's simple way of living does not mean having to starve...

An interesting piece of history Pastor BL related to us went something like that: Around 1266A.D, (Mangu &) Kublai Khan; son(s) of Genghis Khan, was ruling over the vastest empire ever held by the Mongol empire. Two Venetian merchants, Maffeo and Niccilo Polo, were brought before the Mongul rulers. After receiving the Mongul court's hospitality, the two Polos were sent on their way with a letter in Turki addressed to Pope Clement IV asking the Pope to send him 100 learned men to teach his people about Christianity and Western science. When the Polos completed the 3year-journey home, the Pope had passed away. When the Polos set off toward China once again, they only managed to bring with them two friars and gifts for the Khans. However, the friars turned back because of some difficulties faced early along the route. Thus, the Khans never received the 100 learned-men they had requested for. And the Mongul-rulers embraced Tibetan Bhuddism instead. And then Pastor BL said: Christianity's greatest evangelistic-opportunity ever, had passed on; His "hour of visitation" had gone. (You can read up more here; although not all the above revealed during the service are included)

Another issue discussed was about sacrifice.. Matt 26:6-13 were the verses highlighted...
The virtues of "courage" and "sacrifice", examplefied by the woman recorded in those verses; were then re-emphasised again in the Pastor's appeal for volunteers in the year-end mission to Timor-Leste.

& a meaningful quote was presented:
"He is no fool who gives
what he cannot keep
to gain that which he cannot lose"
- Jim Elliot(missionary who did not survive mission to bring the Word to natives in Ecuador's jungles)

******
Friday 15th July
Alas, the final installment in our musical buffet. What an enjoyable time it has been~ But, guess not all good things come to an end yea *wink* ;o) Most importantly, it was joyous _____ ____ ___~

******
As i skipped along the pathway toward the estates' gates, it was already starting to drizzle. I hurried and heard the sound of a plastic-card hitting the tarmac. I looked back & saw nothing unusual. Then, before i took another step, I reached for my shirt-pocket & realised that my EZ-link card was missing~! *That explained the sound~!* Ah, I almost panicked but retraced my steps and saw a small, dark drain(with metal grille cover) by the sidewalk. Oh man~! But before I imagined the worst, I bent down & felt the familiar plastic of an object right at the edge of the roadside-drain opening~! I wiped off some dirt from the surface and put the card safe back into my wallet. He's not let me down; get lost or leave me stranded since I began my personal walk. *smile* Thank You God~!

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Could it be that: The Creator's test is set in our daily lives; in our very own mortal existence?

If it would do You justice, I'd strive for the what is lovely in Your eyes... but I cannot speak Your Word when I myself have not grasped it. So I pray that You build me up; to last the distance; so that I will confidently become a mouthpiece for Your word.

How shall I ask Him?

(Belated Post)
Last night
It was not your everyday sight on the usual Bedok North Exit from PIE... Not 30m into that tricky bend, we passed a sedan that had crashed into the left-side wall of the curved-road. I gazed in partial shock & amazement; at the rather mildly damaged(front was slightly crumpled with light smoke rising from under the bonnet) vehicle. Its driver & passenger in front (thankfully) seemed to be unscathed. The taxi-driver who I was riding with immediately exclaimed to me that, that very car had just overtook us not more than a minute ago before driving into the same exit. Now look where the provisional license holder has "parked".

******
One night before:
I said perhaps food and drink eases one into conversation & merry-making...
& so there I was...
in a sea of unfamiliar people; with only a few new acquaintances and you...
This I felt was what I had to do.. To aspire towards that similar joy in all those faithful hearts, I guess I have to seek and speak to those who are experiencing it in the now~!

******
& then, he suggested praying for me with another with church-mate. The words were meaningful no doubt. But they did not emote me to feel compelled to embrace the faith. & Richard said to me, "Perhaps you're not being serious enough.. But do not worry... If you should decide to challenge God to show Himself to you, He will speak to you if you pray hard enough", So that's what's left to do. To sustain my faith in Him not through seeing his physically-manifested Work; or hearing his spoken Word,, but through sheer faith.. even when I fall to my darkest hours; continue to pray I must.

******
Do not worry, for you did not desert me then -
for "our communion was not bound to words" or physical presence...
but i hope; unltimately in true faith and spirit.
:-) *contented smile*

Silently

Somewhere in this previous post , I talked abt one of nature's gifts - mutual unspoken understanding. Back then, when I only had my Chiching Brothers, I mused often about how I'd like to develop that kind of bond with someone special someday. Now, I'm elated to be actually working on it!

More specifically about matters of the heart:
So far, I find standing by these "universal-rules" has helped in the initial stages:
- consideration; respect for both parties' background, ways-of-life, personalities & percularities
- commandments; derived from the above, to do with respect
- communication; maintaining contact to bridge distances, that endures even periods of absence/silence
- community; on top of companionship; participation within the parties' social circles
- conscientiousness; of the above C's, without fail; but with forgiveness

Not the absolute set of C's by all means... but think these are kinda working well for us~ (you think so too? ;-)

******

& then after the energetic, charismatic worship, the Pastor reminded us about the importance of having "silence" & being comfortable in it.. so that we do not miss the slightest whisper from our Lord.. (& I thought:) or maybe, to even hear His "breathing" - His living-presence amongst us mortals.

Safety Gear

of parachutes and oxygen tanks and body armour...

It's an exhilarating feeling to have sky-rocketed myself into various new ways of life; its challenges & situations. It's the greatest ever, since N.S-days.. or really, since for the longest time in my life.. Heh~
It's looking bright and cheery now at 14,000feet(ask U-Wei abt his real sky-diving experience in Aussie) but think I've gotta make it to the ground soon. Get down to earth. Get hands dirty with proper work now. If not, hanging up in the skys will only get me sucked into a thunderstorm sooner or later~!

I think I'm free-falling now...
Parachutes? *check*

Ooh Yeah~

Reporing live frm LaSalle-SIA's DM-101 (Computer Lab)~!

I'm in the midst of the most babelicious looking beauties ever known to geek-kind; or mankind for that matter! Somebody spank me! Woohoo! My Design Technology module; in which I'm taught new sofware, is conducted in a computer-lab with the latest oh-so-lovely POWERMAC G5ives~! the 25 terminals each come with 20INCH CINEMA DISPLAYS~!! Wahhhh~!!! I'm drowning in my own drool already~!!

On a more serious note:
My classmates(who have by now dispersed into where I can only imagine as out-of-school since there is no class until 6:30pm later) told me that Adobe Illustrator is a more powerful software. Hmm, that gives me some consolation over my lack of Macromedia Freehand-knowledge. good thing I picked up basic Photoshop over the past months too! Later, I learn from my DT lecurer/tutor Yulius, that the Powermac G5s were a recent addition. They just replaced them last semester, upgrading from the years-old G4s.. Boy am I lucky to have come in at this time =) Yulius mentioned that the Mac versions of the Adobe software do not differ very much from the PC. Only some keyboard-shortcut differences. Otherwise, all the same in terms of functionality. *phew*

Ok, my stomach is calling again. Although my fingers waant to stay glued to the keyboard; & my eyes want to continue ogling at the 20" Display, I have to get sustenance to keep up. Oh, & I better visit the library to start research later.. Darn..

adious~ for now...

Timeless Botany

Morning Glory ;shot whilst on bus to workplace, earlier this year. Such was inspiration, other than the thought of you... ;-)

******
When the gift was passed-on to its intended recipient, it was not exactly what the gift-giver had hoped for. The petals had yet to be split outwards to display its blossom. & so, the Lily remained innocent as it's sealed-state & pristine exterior; susceptibly a gesture of hope & redemption.

We learn of the white flower's blossoming days after. Even though the gift-giver never saw it, he revelled in knowing that she appreciated the gift; even to it's final wilt & wither.

******
Perhaps, how beautiful a flower's bloom appears to one; depends on one's state of mind.

******

Algal Bloom inside Bedok Pond 'B' (Man-made Water Catchment). The sun gives life, even to what is actually a huge drain.



White Hibiscus from a few years back. I don't remember seeing a white one before that. So, I was struck by its beauty and was glad to have had the camera with me~

******
& I forgot to ask:
"Did the sunflower reveal its full bloom; in all its leafy green & bright yellow glory?"
Because that day had been blissful, the thought of your joy supercedes the eventuality of the stalk of life... To me, it remains smiling even though I cannot actually see. It is because I feel.

Inseparable & so, old they grew; together.

The First Hour

(updated...)
Reporting live from LaSalle's library:

8:55am
earlier, i hopped into a cab from Kallang MRT & zipped down to school in 5mins! Darn~ I'd better wake up earlier for this class in future!!

9:00am
my classroom is empty
i wait along the corridor; watching students strolling to class along the groundfloor plaza... the canteen looks lively already...

9:10am
this other person waiting along the corridor comes up to say "Hi"
"er, you can call me.. David"
"oh, my name's Eunikee" (tt's how i think it shd spell; frm what she said) -.o
she mentions her indonesian-heritage and then her class begins not long after

9:25am
i head(storm) to the Design Staff Room to seek out my supposed tutor for the lesson "Design Practice 1" I was supposed to have.. Well, found out from this lecturer that i was just supposed to come for the orientation later in the afternoon. Oh well, at least she apologised for the communication breakdown. Hmm, guessed I should have asked for confirmation also, during registration-day last week.

9:35am
I head to the library. I step through the dark-screened door cautiously. On my right, I hear a mildly rowdy discussion corner before I even turn to see. To my left, I spy beautiful iMacs lined up in a row of wooden computer desks. Not a difficult decision to make.

9:40am
Plodded onto the seat at the only unused station. Ah, the sleek LCD-display... That curvaceous mouse... The pristine minimalist keyboard... erm... but where's the power-switch ah? asked this girl beside me who looked slightly irritated(myb amused inside/having morning sickness) and she directed me to look for a button behind the LCD-panel's base. Neat.

10:00am
after admiring the aesthetics of the software, i finally find the familiar Internet Explorer application. Then, I proceed to bombard the online community with limited reach and ammunition(er.. no MSN Messenger ard here.. just have to make-do with Blogger!)

10:30am
the canteen is calling for me... wait, the canteen is calling my stomach... or perhaps, the stomach is taking over my brain... well... more later.. when Oriientation begins proper.. will probably go somewhere to nua all the way till after lunch..

******
retelling frm home
11:15am
i've just finished an ice-milo with my home-packed sandwich... i trod across the plaza toward the Design-block when I hear my name called by a familiar voice. It's E.T! Oh what a nice surprise~! He was having a break and had to go for class only at 1pm. I had time until 2pm. So I head toward the canteen with him again... I got a ham & egg sandwich from the snackbar since I didn't want to just watch my pal eat alone. While at it, I felt rather self-conscious & suspected that there might be some other students there who found me familiar; from not longer than 15mins ago.

11:40am
i follow E.T. up to his assigned classroom, one of the few dedicated to the Interior Design programme. The air conditioned ambience felt welcoming; on such a hot, sunny day.

12:30pm
Both me & E.T. head to the library. after a little browsing, we parted as E.T. went off for his Drawing class. I decide to plant my bottom at an iMac-terminal and grope the uber-cool keyboard & mouse with my lovestruck fingers. Can one ever have enough of so yummy a hardware i wondered?

1:15pm
A friendly lad steps up to the unused terminal beside mine. He asks if I knew how to power-on the iMac. So I showed him where to find the Power-switch. Nice to be able to "pay it forward"; I thought. He then introduced himself as Keshav & said that he'd arrived in SG only 5 days ago. I learn that we happened to be pursuing the same Graphic Design Degree, only thing different was that he was starting out in the Foundation Year whereas I was going into Level2(Year3). Said he'd no family here to support him & asked if he could approach me in future for assistance on school matters & etc. I told him that I was new ard here too, & asked him not to misunderstand that my being-in-Year3 was a sign of experience of the school's academic systems and the such. He seemed a good guy who's all alone in a foreign land, so I gave him my email and contact no. just in case there was some way I could help. I leave for my Orientation and bade my 2nd foreign acquaintance of the day "Good Luck".

******
2:10pm
Orientation was nothing fancy. It was rather a serious overview of the academic structure & outlineof the year's projects and objectives. When the session ended; after just over an hour later of teaching-staff presentations, I found myself slightly unnerved. Now, I have to pick my project-work soon & embark on it asap~! Missing the first Design Practice session (a few periods with tutor)this morning due to miscommunication doesn't help at all. And I still don't know who my fellow classmates are; except for the class-rep whom I marked my attendence with.

******

I finally pick up my order at 3D Sense Media School. Will test my Wacom tablet out later & myb post something I create with it. heh heh...

*naggy but motherly voice* "ah long" "come & have your dinner~!"
Till later folks~!

A New Hope

Well well... wadeya' know... tommorow's the first day of school~!!
Nothing too hair-raising though. Been through it before. Just that now...
I get to do what I lurve--------!!!

Now, I haven't got much things to say before the big day tmr. So here's a buncha' visuals to reward you for taking the trouble to drop by this place :o)

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Contemplation
Fighting back the pre-school jitters,
I ripped out some of my hair.

Ok no... I just went to see the barber.
Opted for the no-fuss short-crop.

Much to my Mom's delight.
Maybe Mom knows best after all.
:o)




Sweet~! *Slurp*

King's Banana & Strawberry Swirl~
don't resist anymore!

You know you wanna go
grab yourself a tub now~!!

Muahahaha~!!
;-D



Presenting...
Fusilli Pollo Vedure
Pasta-spirals in light cream sauce, sprinkled with chicken shreds & assorted vegetables.

Got to help Mom out in the kitchen tonight.
Had fun cooking actually. Hoho..

One more dish to my repertoire~!
That makes 2 altogether (>.<)
Heh heh.. ;-)




******
Till tmr folks~!
*prays for good-hair day*

Farewell

Dear friends, it's good-bye~ to my somewhat hedonistic lifestyle(of 2 months) now. After registering myself at LaSalleSIA's orientation , I am officially bound to student-dom once again; & will be subjected to 17-weeks of full-time grilling in Design. See my timetable to get an idea of days to come. At least we can look forward to a similar vacation-break between Nov-Dec~!! So, expect to see less of me ard here(wasn't much to begin with.. hoho) but perhaps more of my school work. We'll see.

Scene from Bt.Timah Nature Reserve




Spiritual awarness when you look toward the heavens:

Should you gaze till you can't keep still any longer
& regard it's infinite expanse with constant wonder;

believe that through the canopy is your entitled freedom,
& beyond the skys reigns His eternal kingdom.

Eye Power

Recently, when I was making a new pair of glasses, I found out that my eyesight had improved. And this was no small progress, considering I dropped from 700/675 to 600/575. I am amazed myself (o.0) How did I do it? Maybe the late nights and adequate late-morning-sleep did me some good. Hoho...

******
WR's latest free* advice on relationships:
"Do not rush into one like the way a kid does when he unwraps his b'day presents"

Well, at least that should apply to most people in general. It may not appeal to those of you who adopt the Commando / Navy Seal (Bros, you know what I mean right?) approach, but really, I feel patience does count.
(* hence no guarantee :p)

******
Other events:
My ex-boss was promoted on SAF Day(1st July)~! Congrats to MAJ Koh~!!
My TD-buddy Cong turns 22 today~! Think he's having fun in a Sentosa resort/chalet now~!

Faith in the Fort

Folks, Alvin's latest post is a thoroughly good food-for-thought. You animal-lovers out there will probably dig his "pro-animal" sentiments. =)

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Lord,
with this gift of life I have received,
I will honour Your creations with love & kindness.

with every heartbeat You invest in me,
I will stay faithful, with joy & tenderness.

with these hands You have given me,
I will make the world a better place.

with these lips You have borned me,
I hope to share Your Word and grace.

with the seed of love You plant in us,
I pledge my loyalty always;
Your image in each other - we embrace.

******
Leave a tender moment alone,
for our hands express our hearts' desire
to man love's fort with courage, faith and Truth.

******
Till' later...

Strange but True

A chance meeting with a possible business partner somehow yielded two listening prospects. However, one of them indicated having prior commitments already & wasn't going to join us.
The other fellow; his friend, seemed quietly receptive though. You could almost see him crunching the numbers and figures in his mind.

When we were still warming-up to each other, there was an occasion where I was amused at something this prospect siad. In that wierd moment, I kinda involuntarily half-laughed & blew my nose at the same time. Here comes the unpleasant part: The air wasn't the only thing that came out from my nose. Now, after you finish thinking about what form/texture that piece of booger was, imagine this: It lands right smack on the table-top; between yourself & the stranger you are happily engaged in conversation with.

The tricky part was trying to act amused at myself and ask to be pardoned as I turn my face away to sneeze into a tissue; whilst stealthily obstructing that nasal-poop from the strangers' views and swiping it off with the other napkin-armed hand. (Folks, I don't know if you could visualise that, but I give y'all my word that I do not carry any communicable disease. Unless you count being "in-love" or "love-sick" a malady. hoho..=)

******
At the end, we agreed to contact one another again in a few days to hopefully welcome the new friend aboard.

Thank you brother ~ The credit goes to you really ;-)

Grey Days don't Stay

Rainy days are always gonna be around whether we like it or not.

Thoughts translated from few-weeks-old pics:
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I don't know about y'all, but when i wake up to find the weather outside looking like this, my mood gets affected somehow...

peaceful gloom 1
I'm either numbed into inaction/nuaness by the uninspiring, flat : almost 2-dimensional-looking scene... or



peaceful gloom 2
get egged into creativity-mode by the most unlikely/unexpected subjects...



untitled sunset
at the end of the day, i'm always humbled by how simple yet profound the colour-schemes above can be.

******
more words tmr~

Mid-year Menopause

The secular past seemed peaceful enough. But, though the paint-job looked good on the surface, the foundation of my personal "faith" could be comparable to a mud-hut in a quake-prone region. Too much lee-way was given, that could only mean inflicting upon myself more ungodly actions. To have felt some tinge of guilt, I guess there must still be some goodness left within. A tiny candlelight that yearned to do more than just glow - to out-shine the darkness, & cast a far-reaching light, radiating a finally cleansed soul. A poem I wrote some time ago encapsulates this nagging-past:

Redemption Seeking:

On a gloomy grey day;
that wasn't far away,
I contemplated my sins -
my impulses doing me in.

Unfortunate was the thought;
a double clot if not.
I drew the dagger while asleep
& finished me in gracious heat.

How did I falter;
can I repent?
Do you hear me Father;
am I your discontent?

For me to realise,
I know there's still hope -
If you help me light
the way to be PoPe.

******
Finally, I am about to embark on my studies again; after half a year's pause. The break has been somewhat fruitful though.

I'm may be repeating myself when I say, "I've expanded my personal space to embrace the spiritual and emotional". But, that really means a lot to me. All that has touched my heart and soul deeply, like nothing before. Even if I were a 10-year-old who's collected every single Happy Meal toy in the world, I would not be happier than I am now. I don't remember ever feeling this contented with life. And I cannot imagine how different life would be now if all those changes were taken away suddenly. I do not know then; if I'd ever find the courage & stamina - to face the professional challenges ahead; or even realise & nourish my faith enough to go to the Lord's house on my own...

Now, there is more meaning in life.

******
More, perhaps... after sun-down.

Stingy Prose

Woke up feeling a little zonked; but since I got my fill of 7hrs, my dizzy head got better soon enough. Er, realised I fell asleep while composing an SMS half-way at bedtime too~!

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Here's some eye-candy(or space-fillers if you prefer) for you:
These were taken along the North-South Highway. My family and I were making our way home after spending Chinese New Year in K.L.

homeward bound: look at the jam that goes on & on...


watching: man in the mirror is going to fall asleep at the rate traffic is moving


stripped solitude : the only bare tree in the immediate vicinity of a resting spot

******
I thought this post was good enough script-material for Hollywood. Well done Marcus~! However, the post-9/11 fascination with war-movies has somewhat subsided recently. (I can't say for sure since the last movie I watched was.. er, something I can't remember:p) But you could always publish the novel first; then wait for Hollywood to come knocking to buy you story's reproduction-rights~!

******
More banner-design tweaking to begin the day's work. After lunch, I proceed to work on ACS' (Archery Club of Singapore) Polo-tee design. Scanning designs off the old tee and a club-crest was easy enough. Extracting them cleanly took a while, since the scans were of "somewhat 3-dimensional" objects. The evening draws close as I make little progress. I think I need to go sweat it out~! Eventually opted for a swim because calves were aching from yesterday's gym-work.

Will continue with the ACS-tee later~! *dinner-time*

Wisdom? & Ego...

(>.<) I am awoken by my handphone alarm to find an unread message - "Rain, no play". I ring Marcus up to inform him. Luckily, he is still at home. I look out the window and feel somewhat thankful for the weather. Sleep-addict am I? No, I really need the sleep. And besides, I did my evening 5km yesterday. *poof* (-.-) *plonks back into polyester dreams*

******
Later, I am startled awake again for 2 reasons. (o.<) No, not because bad bedbugs bit. But ...
1) mainly because my internal bio-clock has activated a mechanical,woodcraft bird that emerges, from between my cerebral hemispheres, to begin prancing about irritatingly. (A hunting-compound-bow would come in handy now I thought) But if I ignored the "cuckoos" any further, I would be in for a rude shock later; when my bio-clock decides to up the dose by sounding the "grandfather-chimes" bundled with hunger-pangs and oversleeping-headaches.

2) Part of the startling is due to having remembered that I forgot to say a prayer before bedtime the night before. I don't know why, but the tinge of guilt that I felt eased away once I said simple words of thanks. But still, I do not know if I am speaking to Him. For I've not received any reply at all. Perhaps faith is the answer itself.

******
Random Post-meeting Afterthoughts:
U: in doing business, one must be shrewd
T: one must have trust in the partners involved

U: that guy seems like a hypocrite to me
T: trust appears not only in business, but also in relationships

U: always make a back door for yourself, so that you don't get played-out or back-stabbed
T: trust the system that we have; because it works!

To me, each one speaks his own personal wisdom - a culmination of hard-earned experience and sheer self-righteousness that may rub off positively or negatively on others. I tend to be easily swayed but here I'm really sincerely convinced about the deal. Just need to understand the mechanics of it all; before I can share it well enough with others.

******
Dropped by the club with the intention of shooting. But somehow got myself into another act of volunteerism? Only this time, I initiated that opportunity & volunteered myself! (No one was asking, Shameless I am eh?) It started off with a chat with Mr.S about whether I could skip the Beginner's Course and join right away as a member. Later, I remembered you mentioned something about plans for a new club T-shirt before. So I decided to whet my curiousity & inquire about it's progress from Mr.S. I didn't have to do much prodding before he readily showed me a sample Tee and club-logo for reference. He'd wished to have some help on this I thought. Later, Mr.F came along and joined in the discussion as well. And there and then, I decided to lend a hand.

(After doing the WASBE flyer & banner for free, now this. You all must be thinking I'm crazy.) Well, if there were anything to expand my portfolio with; that I find meaningful enough to do even just for the sake of people-pleasing design, I'll do for peanuts. I'm no professional, but I'll always try my best. (Just so that people don't curse and swear at me in case my name gets stamped on the inferiorly-designed-&-tardily-manufactured product) :p

******
Congratulations for being conned into reading this post. Thou may not have found any wisdom in it; but it's all the truth for today.
*roar* *chest-thumping* :o)

No Wonder

To Summarise the day:
Feeling: heppy, appreciated; thankful for and grateful to the people around me
Music: Latin Jazz
Food: Fish Ball Mee Pok, Rice
Work: Banner-design revision
******
There's no real content for today. But making plans for the week, I am, yes.

I've always taken a liking to the various forms of online-communication for purposes of keeping in touch with friends, family and acquaintances . Today I was told: "God speaks.. in various ways" Now, if only He had Messenger, Friendster and online forums back then.. Talk about spreading the word~!

******
Will leave you now with a not-so-pleasing-eyeful of optical-illusion-art in progress:

Silly Art Days circa 2001

Killl those hObbiTsSss.. we must~!
He has... our.. pre----ciious!

Me Eyes Grow Heavy

Hmm.. sorry for yesterday's let-down - no more chatter after lunchtime..
somehow not much new thoughts were dying to get out of my head..

******
The day started off bright and cheery; with a cyan morning sky and the glorious sun!

It didn't last for long though. By late morning, grey sheets creeped up over the island and pretty much dulled the weather for the rest of the day. On the less-grey side, the screening of the sun with a sprinkling of rain does make the summer weather much more bearable :)

******
More, as promised(not very much though):

Today, was... a tiring but interesting day. Played a lil'footy b4 the rain fell at noon-time. Fired a different, heavier-poundaged bow. (Is that the right description?) Took a few new bus routes. Visited SIM(HQ). It's a spick-and-span-looking campus I must say~ Alvin, i'm sure u're comfortable there; other than the travelling required.

Yep, that was pretty much it for today. Apologies for not living up to promise. But as the title says it all. Me eyes were heavy since I woke this morning. Like the other bow I used today, me eyes weigh a few pounds more at this moment.

That's all for now.. Untill tommorow~!

Euphoric Neurons

~ 8:30am:
There is nothing better than a head buzzing with thoughts to kickstart one's day.

Ironically, I was roused from blissful slumber by some vision in my sleep - a climax of bliss.

But after that, the numerous transient fragments of thinking could not stop coming to me, all at once. Like the countless tributaries and little streams that trickle ineveitably into a river, I see in my mind's eye: possible trials and agendas contributing more and more into the river of Life. And no, it is not a calm and pretty sight such as the River Seine ... That will come eventually when Life runs its course... But now is the time of the white-water... the challenging terrain of rocks and rapids. Hang on to your horsey.. er, rubber-rafts I mean :D

******
12pm Newsflash:
I got my LaSalleSIA student card made yesterday :o)
& I've received a "Thank-you-for-applying" letter from NTU finally.
As fellow Artist/Designer EugeneT would say:
"Time for Revenge of the Private Art Schools~!!"
& I echoed, "Onward with the Revolution~!!" (^o^)

******
1pm Nonsense:
I was just singing along to a Sixpence None The Richer song when I re-discovered that I kinda like singing in falsetto . Even though I had difficulty trying to match Sixpence's lead singer, Leigh Nash; I got a kick out of mimicking her saccherine vocals. Hmm, or myb I just like to "BeeGee-fy" any song that comes to my fancy. Muah~hahahar~~!!

******
More chatter, later

Whiter Shade of Pale

Can one ever be fairer than the purest of Winter's first snowfall? To be the fairest amongst them all? Perhaps only for so long. Even in snowflakes (in its most miniscule form - ice-crystals) ; you will never find 2 flakes of the exactly the same size and crystallization-pattern.
The most unblemished skin also cannot remain eternally spotless and wrinkle-free.

******
Things have been a little unsettling lately:
1. I've not created as much Art/Design pieces as I would have liked to, in the past few weeks.
2. I've been given a great opportunity to realise my financial goals, but it'll require me to step out of my comfort-zone and maybe be a little "evil" :p
3. To have certain ugly-truths revealed. That make me grit my teeth in consolation and helplessness. That also, unfortunately, give me reason to question my trust.

But, I rationalise optimistically:
1. I believe in "applying" my Art/Design process in all other areas of life. For that, I am glad to have approached
2. Opportunities not grabbed are 100% lost.. If I'd engage them 100%, I might only get 20% in returns but would a lesson or two with the other 80%. Just have to be prepared to commit enough time into its development.
3. Here, I do not wish to let external impersonal incidents start affecting my internal personal judgement too much. But that said, even as I unknowingly continue admiring what really is one's mask, at least I do so with conviction, true belief, and a clear conscience.
(I'm not a delusionist, but I try to make the best out of things :o)

******
For now, i'm relishing the sequence of loading, raising, drawing, aiming and releasing... of course with a bit of inspiration from someone *wink* ;o)

Life In Transit

I look at the itinery while I wait-out the days before take-off...
I've gone through it at least, twice or more? Enough to make me WANT to get some work done while I wait.. But then, the reality is that planning one's own work is easy.. Actually getting it done is another thing. It sure takes a lot more discipline to address self-imposed tasks..

I made the 2nd phone call to the NTU-OAD passenger-service..
They told me that my flight-application was STILL under processing..
I should get my confirmation by this week.. So, what else can I do but sit here and continue waiting..

At the same time, I've got a LaSalleSIA flight booked too; just need to matriculate by this week.. So, by the time the tickets to Nanyang Drive arrive(if they ever will), I would have already boarded the plane to Goodman Road.

******
At least we're getting somewhere in our Spiritual and Emotional journeys.
A great light illuminates the way from afar; and it beckons me slowly but surely. It is on this way, I can take the time to appreciate the scenery, smell the lilies and all.
All this would not have been possible; if not for you - the patient travel-companion within. You haven't told me much about Him; but yet I've read for myself in your travelogue. Because of that, I thank you even if you may not feel your effort deserves it.
The beauty of it is that He never once asked for my ticket, for a passage to pass. Perhaps someday, I'll find out that He'd paid for my journey too.
Keep walking with me and I know I will.

******
More travels to come...

More Sharing

Folks,
I'm done with my part-time course (still owe a project though~!) but that dosen't mean I go kai-kai or slack everyday! Since I quit working, most of my travels(machiam SG very big) involve going to workout nowadays(either gym or court soccer). At home, I've been doing this flyer and banner design for the upcoming WASBE2005 Conference .

******
For the longest time, I've not had a good mingle-in-the-crowd; that didn't involve trying to hurry past them. So today, I dropped by the Police Academy for the Police Week cum Road Safety Awareness Carnival. (guys, this is where u say: yea right, go Carnival to mingle with crowd! Bedok Central no crowd ah?) Ah, but I like to explore new ground.

Anyway, I got there about 10am - early(by Sunday-morning-standards), so the crowds had not built-up yet. Lined-up along the boundaries of this big field there were big,white tents with F&B stalls; game stalls & souvenir and miscellaneous retail stalls. I walked through the whole length of them. Enjoyed myself most at the mini archery range :D (again, to u guys: you have great imagination about how i was being "coached" lah! But, every visitor to the archery booth also received similar coaching what. -.-)

Unfortunately, I did not whip out my camera too many times because of the lack of eye-catching visuals. Perhaps flustered by the increasingly humid weather, I was somewhat less inspired too. Even so, I was always finding something for someone in mind. & I received it from a guy dressed up in a colourful clown outfit.
"Thank you, Mr.Balloon Twister" *wink* ;)

******
Recently, I started attending a Church service (just to clarify, in case u were puzzled by last post which made no mention of "Church") Last Sat was only my 2nd ever such attendance. During that service, what is known as, a "charismatic" style of worship, is practised. (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone?) I'm not sure what other styles there are, but I find the music to be very enlivening for a start. And just like last week, I "went back to school" again, kinda' like retracing some forgotten past where His Word was first made known to me.

The main message to the congregation during that service was about questioning your own fears of reaching out - evangelising. I got what the Pastor was saying but couldn't relate fully for I myself am not Christian yet. For the true believers, the message probably struck a chord more resoundingly with them. Perhaps this(calling to action?) was why you felt it was "so wierd". Is it something all Christians are compelled to do? Maybe when the time comes, I'll know as well. (",)

Even though I didn't actually receive any divine calling/sign from Him; within, I found myself getting in touch with my spirituality; and actually enjoying the experience of it all. As I continue to search for it, I hope that the Church may well lead me to find Truth soon.

******
What my Friendster Horoscope said today:
"Don't be surprised if you go to make your usual roar and a wee little meow comes out. You're not quite your usual big, bold self, which may be disconcerting. You'll find, however, that being kittenish has definite advantages."
*puzzled look* (o.o) meow?

To Know Him

I never knew Him by name.

******
The closest was back in Anglican High..
Back then, we had Bible class(in mandarin!) and Assembly(sing-a-long/worship-type). Having Civics&MoralEd. lessons conducted in Mandarin already was enough for me. Being preached to; in the language I was poor in, only served to put me off altogether. Maybe I wasn't receptive, or just plain ignorant. But what was I to do if I could go no farther than a few characters(only recognised some names like "John" or "Jesus") before stumping upon unfamiliar ones - yes, the Bible was printed in Mandarin, old-fashioned-multi-stroked-characters!! fan2 ti3 zi4!! So much for my 1st brush with Evangelists.

Those days, I never saw the need for religion. I only had my parents/teachers/friends/myself to answer to. Yet, I was no atheist. I had always acknowledged God's existence. (The One God I blogged abt in a previous post) This God, whom perhaps only I prayed to. I even borrowed a prayer from the pocket-Bible(that an uncle handed down to me) that goes something like:
"Our Father who is in Heaven, your name be kept holy; your kingdom come; your will be done on Earth, as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. Lead us; not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever."

After speaking the lines, I'd always ask God to bless my loved ones and resolve their difficult trials. Doing that was meaningful enough to me - enough to satisfy the inner-me spiritually. Somehow, after leaving Anglican, I never said those lines before bedtime anymore. (It is a wonder even to myself, that they were recently recalled with unusual ease!)

Check out AHS' Website!
okay, the link leads you to the school's core values page; where I will take the opportunity to give blessings to my Alma Mater and to ask: "Chiching Brothers, when was the last time we formed the Holy-Circle!?" :p

******
And then,
I walked through the big wooden doors into the hall. There were at least 150 people, mostly youths, inside. A good number of them formed neat rows at the stagefront. With a wide, raised stage, soft stagelights and many rows of flip-down cushioned seats, the place resembled a concert-hall. On the right-end of the stage, a 5-piece combo-band was playing some introductory tune with guitar-riffs. Upon the 2 empty wall-faces sandwiching the stagefront, were song-lyrics; projected keenly. I notice a small "control-centre" (probably the Soundbox?) of sorts near the back-row seats.
When the band and on-stage singers led the crowd into song, I couldn't help but feel like I had been trasported 7 years back in time, into a school hall Assembly in Anglican once more.

******
A windy night.
The scent of rain.
Words, took easy flight.
Knowing glances, sustained.
Then, I could only love with words,
Could not bring myself to touch..
But now, in spite of myself, I reached forth.

The Night quietened.
And a gentle stirring began from within:
A feeling that radiates warmly,
enveloping your being with unspeakable euphoria.
That sends your heart racing on a rainbow,
soaring to the clouds, the stars.. Utopia!

Pulled apart to return once more.
This gift I offer to you: Patience, reassured.

******
Now, for a song:
"Tender is the light/Lying by your side//Tender is the touch/Of someone that you love too much//Tender is the day/The demons go away//Lord I need to find/Someone who can heal my mind" - Tender by Blur

The Plane of Days Pass

I see planes..
flying off into the South...
they are a common feature..

But common,
the cloud patterns aren't; here..
everyday, everymoment, they're different..

Shape-shifting.. billowing..
like an inviting fluff of a bean bag..
an omnimous anvil of lightning & thunder..

cotton rug stretched flat, far and wide at times..
foggy grey brushstrokes without shape
that envelope the sun on other occassions..

I should like to put them all on canvas,
but even that would be impossible..
(ah, such is life) but i'll try till I know..
recreate infinity to outlast mortal soul.

Revamp

Just so y'all know,
the previous black-green template was Matrix-inspired. I guess in the long run, it'll hurt all yours eyes frm the glaring contrast. (Alvin: I should have listened earlier) Will think of a more eye-pleasing display-friendly template. This will suffice for now :)

Upheaval

Upheaval

the time is 10:59pm
i don a sleeveless shirt
i slip on the thick dark socks
i mount the trainers

30mins later; 11:29pm
my pulse is racing
still feel the cool air frm the waterway
my shirt feels heavy
still see the darkness my strides took me into
my hands are ice upon the rest of my body
still smell the sweetness of the night

a sweaty palm marks a palm trunk
******

A: What are you trying to prove?
B: Nothing, I just wanted to expend some energy b4 bed.
A: How many people are as crazy as you, you tell me?
B: Not crazy.. In fact there were 3 other runners too..
A: So you are the mad few amongst 3 million!?
B: It was only a 3km+ distance, there could have been others considering the few hundred more square km on this island.
A: So you think what you're doing is clever?
B: How can u qualify my action as being: clever or not?
A: You are screwing up yr body system. It is going to cost money to fix it next time.
B: (fine, myb i belong somewhere else. I could fix it myself too.)

B:*sigh* (what did i just do wrong)
******

Half-truths turning on me?
Later.

Back To My Roots

Back To My Roots

*feeling on a high now*
been digging into my New Age/ World (& some classical) music collection recently (The oldest of em' must be a decade-old now!)

but, ever-so-precious they are.
songs, without words.
yet they say so much, stir emotions & touch the inner-me.

From the beginning: Band/Classical, to NewAge, to Pop, to 80's Pop, & to New Age once more. ah........ yes. after so long.
it has come full-circle. they've found their way back to me once more.

******
there are love ballads and nice pop.
but they'll never offer the same range of interpretation & depth
that is intrinsic in free-form ebony&ivory-twinklings, six-string-strummings, choral tone-poems or orchestral-masterpieces
******

anyone keen to borrow cds? (em i a new-age preacher or what :))

Untitled Thoughts

Untitled Thoughts
(Last)Friday Evening:

After my 2.4km run at Bedok Stadium, I am walking home happily.
Being pleased with the 15-second progress since last week,
I yoddle a cheesy* pop-song or two along the way.
*(Think: Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" & Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl")

When I got out of the lift, I flipped out the little nylon-pocket hidden
in my running shorts; to get my key. Then, I was struck by horror-of-all-horrors to find another little-hole (that wasn't the pocket-opening) on that little nylon-pocket! I poked my little-finger through that little-hole. "Right, just my lucky day", I thought.

At times like these, I am dumbstruck. Amazed- at how the littlest of things/events can have effects anything-but-little. Hmm, maybe I should spend this time inspecting the cleanliness of my common corridor.

And then somehow, before the thought of having to wait for my parents to come home crossed my mind, I decided to check my shorts again.

*flips out nylon-pocket* "Dang!"
*pulls waistband of shorts outwards* "Hmmp?!"
Lo and behold~ the key was retained by the inner "netting-layer" of my shorts. Found literally between the legs. (I believe no further description of it's location is necessary)
Well, this little "undergarment" that I sometimes rather not have in my shorts sure saved me from vegetating for the evening this time...

Sunday noon:

I followed my parents to Bedok Central. I wasn't feeling in the mood
for supermarket prowling & so brought some stationary along - having
in mind a trip to the Bedok Community Library whilst I wait for my folks.

After lunch at the hawker centre, we parted ways and agreed to rendevous in about 2hrs-time; the mode of communication being SMS. With a satisfied tummy, I trot along to the nearby library.

The lights were out.
& goodness reminded me that it was Vesak Day - when I saw
a banner outside informing of the library's closure for this day.
"Great" "Let's just walk around the rest of the place"
******

I had just stepped out from one of the (numerous) wholesale stores in the area when I felt a little twitching in my left eye.
*blinks* *blinks again* (trying not to direct these "gestures" at anyone in particular)

I instinctively reached for my eye to gently apply some pressure (ok, a rub, of sorts).
I remember my MaMa used to say: "Don't rub your eyes or you'll go blind."
& true enough, when I opened my left-peeper, I was seeing double.
My contact lens had been dislodged frm its appropriate position (o.<) But, fortunately, the lens was still on my eyeball- I could feel something when I lowered my left eyelid. Now, I had to find a washroom before i could remedy this malady. What was before a friendly neighbourhood town centre was now a freakish dimension teeming with 2-headed, 4-eyed, 8-limbed & etc.. beings. (when u have astigmatism and only one contact lens on, you get more spectacular visuals for less eye-aid)

Alright, i sensationalise. But to see the world "filtered half-fuzzy" is
a interesting, humbling experiencing in itself. Imagine:
Right eye sees man with checkered shirt while left eye picks up some blotchy patchwork instead. Drawing and painting would never be the same again!

I rushed to the 2nd-most-appropriate washroom for the matter - at Burger King restaurant.(The 1st choice would be the ones in the Library. "Dang!") There was already a queue outside what seemed like the lavatory.
"Argh--!" (o.-) *closes left eye* That was one overused, unisex lavatory!

I trudged off to the kopitiam next to the BK.
We all know that kopitiam washrooms are not the most pleasant of places to do whatever business in. But given the urgency of the situation, I had to give it a shot.
"Here goes.." *takes deep breath* & into the dimly-lit, slippery-floored place.
The stain-streaked mirror, with the lack of lighting, made it impossible to check my eye.
I washed my hands and left.

I was still thinking of where to head next when I walk past this clothing retailer.
I spied the empty fitting rooms and decided, "This will be it!"
I grabbed a pair of jeans from a display rack with one hand and into the cubicle I went.

Bright, wide mirror inside. Just what I needed!
I peered as widely as I could into the reflection of my left eyeball.
I finally found my lens, slightly folded(onto itself) by the corner of the exposed eyeball-surface. I used my "clean" fingers(of the hand that did not touch the jeans after washing) to "unfold" that misbehaving film (of silicone?).

Normal-vision was finally restored. *drops an eye-drop* "ah... much better now"
As I walked towards the supermarket, I passed various retailers & noticed that prices seemed to have fallen by half from when I last remembered/saw. Strange indeed.

First Dance

First Dance

We take the baby-steps,
I am recalling how to lead.
You gently urge me along,
your "anything goes" puts me at ease

Swaying a little off-balance,
you pull me back to reality.
When you ask the simple questions,
all my Heart is for you to see

Then I thought, you were falling;
slipping away, into another's hand
"The little dance was so... terrorizing."
I was compelled & ignored my loose ankle

Guided by sheer faith;
& an awakened spirit frm within,
in you I put my trust;
& reached out to start a spin

A ballet to a tango,
our thoughts a merry jingle.
& on to the Rhumba-beat,
before we did the Lindy Hop

As the opening-tune draws to a close,
our feverish Flamenco stops
We take time to reflect -
events so wierd, Twists over-the-top

Now, I come to you,
to ask just one more dance
With no other intentions,
I appeal for my chance

If you're keen enough,
like you are on clouds & rainbows,
I'll talk, walk, sing with you;
& sweep me off my feet, you always will

But should my rhythm be off,
or my footwork go wrong,
No questions asked,
you may retire before the end of song

Lifting my open palms, & although
struggling with the words so few,
Truly, I long to embrace;
to dance an Endless Waltz with you

******
Imaginary Scene frm an Imaginary Club named "XouQ":
thum(x4), tiutiu(x4), ladadadida...
"O---uchh!"
"Oops, I'm sorry" "Didn't mean to step on your toes"
"Ok fine, but.." "Next drink's on you!"
"I thought you don't drink?"
"I'm making it easy for you" "Or you'd rather do my nails for me!?"
******

Another Ordinary Day

Another Ordinary Day

1:10pm
*Uncurling oneself on bed*
*yawns*
conducts water-parade

1:20pm
consumes oatmeal-cereal drink Mom prepared
browses yest's papers at the same time

1:30pm
contemplates going for run
succumbs to living room sofa
contemplates taking an afternoon nap

1:45pm
receives an SMS
calls Marc to offer advice on working with acrylic paint

1:55pm
ransacks refrigerator
pops a plastic tub into the microwave
yest's dinner-leftovers became today's Brunch(or is it Tea?)

2:15pm
misc activities: day-dreaming, browsing thru somemore "was-news", sky-gazing & etc
******

4:00pm
lying on sofa
notices a weather most excellent for outdoor activity
recalls an unofficial notification of deadline for IPPT
*shudders*

4:01pm
looks for comfort-attire to make enjoyable the activity ahead
performs stretches on floor

4:20pm
light-jogs to stadium
notices rather uncrowded running-track
sees how far a ball, pro-footballers whack
Proceeds to do a 2.4km
Begins recording of lap-timing

4:15pm
manages to finish without spilling any innards/undigested Brunch
realises need for more regular runs

5:00pm
notices fairly empty swimming-pool
decides to do a lil' more training
swims near the pool-floor; releasing breath gradually
dosen't make it very far before lungs threathen to collaspe

5:30pm
performs cleaning routine in bathroom
appreciates the existence of water-heating devices

6:00pm
pops another tub into the radioactive device
imagines possible effects of nuclear activity in various places:
NewZealand: 5 million Beef steaks well-done in under a minute.

China: Few thousands years of heritage and civilisation + billions in population + zillions of chopsticks, erased in 1 min.

Antarctica: Millions of years of geology would be sent spewing all across the globe in 2 min, causing a world-wide incalcation of recipes for Ice Kachang, ChingTeng, Ice Jelly & etc in 2 days.

Singapore: 100+ strands of rice flour + 20thin slices of fish cake + 4 prawns = CharBeeHoon in 3 min.

6:30pm
my "day" starts.
to work, to work..
******

5:30am
say "Good Morning" to Mom
hears the tinkling of cups and spoons and cereal-tins
curls up into a snoring-ball

The Twin Brudda!

The Twin Brudda!
My Sporadic Dose of Schizo^!

1

1-1

1-2

1-3

1-4

1-5

1-6

1-6
questions? comments? anything to say abt Twin Brudda??

Beyond the Laws of Nature

Beyond the Laws of Nature
Theory of God's Will

Warning! Potentially Blasphemous Content ahead:

This post is inspired by Alvin's post on Miracles .
My first reaction after reading that was: "Heh, another non-believer~(of religion)."

Now for the record, I personally believe in the existence of the Universal Creator, otherwise known as God. However, like Alvin, I have chosen not to place my faith in any of the various religions that exist today. My main reason for doing so is: To remain unbiasedly respectful of the teachings of ALL the various faiths.

With all due respect, I think Mohammed, Buddha & Jesus have done a great job in guiding many people to lead meaningful lives. But, I do think that neither one of them is greater than the other; and that perhaps they are all equal representations of The Almighty One. I apologise if that remark offended anyone in anyway. I assure you that I mean no malice.
******

Let's examine the meaning of "Miracle". - search result from Dictionary.com
Most of us already know the word as defined in most universities' 2kg-tissue-box-sized publications. But on top of those, I kinda buy this:

"God ordinarily effects his purpose through the agency of second causes; but he has the power also of effecting his purpose immediately and without theintervention of second causes, i.e., of invading the fixed order, and thus ofworking miracles. Thus we affirm the possibility of miracles, the possibilityof a higher hand intervening to control or reverse nature's ordinary movements" -extract frm Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary

Now, remember what I said about my belief in the existence of 1 God.
Long ago, I used to think that perhaps humans created God,
for purposes of self-expression;& for good or for bad causes.
The very thought of, thinking a God into existence, sounded fairly plausible to me.
"Man, God could have been one of mankind's greatest inventions if that were true!"
But times have changed.

& today I state:
******
Premise 1: Science rationalises phenomena based on proven Natural Laws and physical evidence.
P2: Occurances that cannot be logically explained by science may be acts of God's Will.
P3: Everything, without reasonable proof otherwise, may well be regarded as truth.

Conclusion 1: Everything (that Science hasn't yet proven otherwise) was created by God from him/herself.
C2: God is the Singular Truth that exists in everything.
******

You're going to ask me, "Why the change in opinion today?"
I can only say that: In the past 20+ yrs of my existence, I've gone through some wonderful experiences that upon reflection, seem unexplainable and even unreal. And for them to have occured, there must have been a invisible, unworldly, cosmic force at play.

Let's see what I can seive out from the crumbling-yellowing-scrapbook that is my memory.
******
Random Event 1:
UEFA Champions League Final 1999: Man Utd vs Bayern Munich
Bayern lead 1-0 going into 3mins of added-time at end of match. Within those 3mins, Teddy scored the fateful equaliser and Ole put in the miraculous Cup-winning goal!
Definitely the most amazing soccer match i've ever watched.
******
Random Event 2:
2002:Exercise Homerun in R.O.C - Night Assault on Objective.
PC approaches possible FUP with Platoon2(PL2). Cannot see objective from current location; not sure of current location as well. *gulp* Walking along dried-up river, decides to scale bare river-bank to get to higher ground with his men. Up there, objective was found to be 100+ metres ahead, but PL2 was facing the reserve side of the slope we had planned to charge.
"Bang" *Thunderflash & smoke alarm goes off* (instructor tripped one booby off)
"Darn, what to do now!?" "Call for support fire!" "Bronze Now!"
"Drrggg-dg-dg... drrrrg-dg-dg-dg..." *faint Machine-Gun fire heard in the howling wind*

Time was running out for PL2 to get into position for the assault.
PC signals to PL2 & makes a dash towards dimly-lit track ahead(behind the objective).
The backslope of the objective seemed impossible to scale. Roughly 70degrees steep and well vegetated with birch trees. PC looks behind to see Platoon chasing him into this darkness. He must proceed.
"Damn, Where am I going!?" *Leads Platoon further along the dim track*
About 50m into that, PC spots a small narrow clearing of sorts on that very slope, near the track. "No time to think" "This is it!"
Signalling to PL2, he starts bashing into the vegetation.
Steep yes, but surprisingly the route was kindly less-dense with vegetation further upslope. It helped too, that the slope was dry and weathered to be somewhat a natural stairway w branches and roots for railings.
The PC's heart was racing, his each step taking PL2 closer to what seemed like an opening into the night sky. "Where would he lead us to!?" "What would be waiting for us there?"

At the opening, PL2 found themselves near the top of their objective: a open-air war-zone offering no cover & concealment.
*Machine Gun ceases fire*
PC crawls forwards with two men, and discover a con-wire fence. Not far from this was what seemed like a shellscrape with a fieldpack sticking out. PL2 conducts a silent breaching of the con-wire fence, since no enemies were in sight. Or so the PC thought! A guard was later found sound-asleep in the shell-scrape mentioned earlier. Sneaking through the gap, and spreading out his men, PC then realised that they have just reached the top, rear-end of the objective! PL2 has approached the enemy from the least likely position! Creeping forward, Platoon gets ready to charge an enemy that was dug-in but facing a similar direction of our assault. And the rest they say was, "We did PL1 frm behind; kicked their butts, literally".
******

Okay, end of recollection-session, b4 this post overflows.
To analyse, both events occured years apart, involved very different groups of people. In both cases, people who forged through rather trying circumstances, emerged triumphant. In both situations, nobody present expected the events to unfold as they did.

Do you think those present then, took full-credit for their victories?
I doubt so.
Perhaps Charlie Chance, Cody Coincidence, Deborah Destiny,
Farah Fate, Lindy Luck, & Mike Miracle were acknowledged as well.
& where could these always-welcomed guests have come from?
Nobody, but perhaps God, knows.

Moments like these appear in my mind from time-to-time,
as still frames that never fail to exude an awe-inspiring effect.
Because these events occur with such uncanny alignment/arrangement of space-time, I find it hard to accept any possible human-explaination & so, ask that you too, be satisfied with God's Will.
Period.

Just Do It

Just Do It

Bro Marc's post was the inspiration for mine today.. see here

I think the issue of "madness" gives rise to a debate on ethical philosophy.
How justifiable can the means to judge, whether a person is sane or of unsound mind, be?
Who is to say what is right or wrong?

From a ethical point of view, I think every person is entitled their own "freedom", so long as their free-willed actions do not directly cause suffering to another person.

If true freedom exists, then the outcasts that Bro Marc mentioned should not be confined in institions at all. But alas, even a democracy governs by the word of the masses. And we can only watch, as the masses dictate every aspect of our social norms.

"Bo jeng hu" condemn Pay-And-Pay & u'll start finding ISD agents disguised as mobile keropok stall operators and taxi-drivers around your neighbourhood. Anyhow wear checkered pants & the fashionistas will sue you for "visual assault"(phrase borrowed frm Jo=). Ask the Cai Dao Kuei Uncle to serve the egg seperate frm the carrot-cake & he'll probably exclaim "lu siao ah!" The list goes on & on..

I'm sure everyone has their fair share of deviance; but kept to a minimum due to societal pressures (with a little help from folks home perhaps)

So, my message to everyone is this:
Expressing your inner self is a beautiful thing. Do not be bothered whether it's unique, trendy or passe.
Do your thang & be happy you did it your way.
=)

After Sunset

After Sunset...

How can I let you know?
Can words even convey it at all?
Or would actions speak louder?

Maybe if I look into your eyes,
my whole experience would be revealed to your soul.

I have always sought goodness in every person around me.
But in you, I see goodness personified.
Now, I don't have to try to see, it just glows from your being.
Because of you, everyone else matters.
I find the feeling closer the more I treat them like you would.
Maybe, being like you is the only way to stay close to you.

Oh God,
Thank you for your blessings.

******
"That's when I need them, that's when I need my Father's eyes..."
My Father's Eyes; lyrics by Eric Clapton