Sunday, June 05, 2005

To Know Him

I never knew Him by name.

The closest was back in Anglican High..
Back then, we had Bible class(in mandarin!) and Assembly(sing-a-long/worship-type). Having Civics&MoralEd. lessons conducted in Mandarin already was enough for me. Being preached to; in the language I was poor in, only served to put me off altogether. Maybe I wasn't receptive, or just plain ignorant. But what was I to do if I could go no farther than a few characters(only recognised some names like "John" or "Jesus") before stumping upon unfamiliar ones - yes, the Bible was printed in Mandarin, old-fashioned-multi-stroked-characters!! fan2 ti3 zi4!! So much for my 1st brush with Evangelists.

Those days, I never saw the need for religion. I only had my parents/teachers/friends/myself to answer to. Yet, I was no atheist. I had always acknowledged God's existence. (The One God I blogged abt in a previous
post) This God, whom perhaps only I prayed to. I even borrowed a prayer from the pocket-Bible(that an uncle handed down to me) that goes something like:
"Our Father who is in Heaven, your name be kept holy; your kingdom come; your will be done on Earth, as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. Lead us; not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever."

After speaking the lines, I'd always ask God to bless my loved ones and resolve their difficult trials. Doing that was meaningful enough to me - enough to satisfy the inner-me spiritually. Somehow, after leaving Anglican, I never said those lines before bedtime anymore. (It is a wonder even to myself, that they were recently recalled with unusual ease!)

Check out AHS' Website!
okay, the link leads you to the school's core values page; where I will take the opportunity to give blessings to my Alma Mater and to ask: "Chiching Brothers, when was the last time we formed the Holy-Circle!?" :p

And then,
I walked through the big wooden doors into the hall. There were at least 150 people, mostly youths, inside. A good number of them formed neat rows at the stagefront. With a wide, raised stage, soft stagelights and many rows of flip-down cushioned seats, the place resembled a concert-hall. On the right-end of the stage, a 5-piece combo-band was playing some introductory tune with guitar-riffs. Upon the 2 empty wall-faces sandwiching the stagefront, were song-lyrics; projected keenly. I notice a small "control-centre" (probably the Soundbox?) of sorts near the back-row seats.
When the band and on-stage singers led the crowd into song, I couldn't help but feel like I had been trasported 7 years back in time, into a school hall Assembly in Anglican once more.

A windy night.
The scent of rain.
Words, took easy flight.
Knowing glances, sustained.
Then, I could only love with words,

Could not bring myself to touch..
But now, in spite of myself, I reached forth.

The Night quietened.
And a gentle stirring began from within:
A feeling that radiates warmly,
enveloping your being with unspeakable euphoria.
That sends your heart racing on a rainbow,
soaring to the clouds, the stars.. Utopia!

Pulled apart to return once more.
This gift I offer to you: Patience, reassured.

Now, for a song:
"Tender is the light/Lying by your side//Tender is the touch/Of someone that you love too much//Tender is the day/The demons go away//Lord I need to find/Someone who can heal my mind" - Tender by Blur

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