Monday, May 30, 2005


Just so y'all know,
the previous black-green template was Matrix-inspired. I guess in the long run, it'll hurt all yours eyes frm the glaring contrast. (Alvin: I should have listened earlier) Will think of a more eye-pleasing display-friendly template. This will suffice for now :)



the time is 10:59pm
i don a sleeveless shirt
i slip on the thick dark socks
i mount the trainers

30mins later; 11:29pm
my pulse is racing
still feel the cool air frm the waterway
my shirt feels heavy
still see the darkness my strides took me into
my hands are ice upon the rest of my body
still smell the sweetness of the night

a sweaty palm marks a palm trunk

A: What are you trying to prove?
B: Nothing, I just wanted to expend some energy b4 bed.
A: How many people are as crazy as you, you tell me?
B: Not crazy.. In fact there were 3 other runners too..
A: So you are the mad few amongst 3 million!?
B: It was only a 3km+ distance, there could have been others considering the few hundred more square km on this island.
A: So you think what you're doing is clever?
B: How can u qualify my action as being: clever or not?
A: You are screwing up yr body system. It is going to cost money to fix it next time.
B: (fine, myb i belong somewhere else. I could fix it myself too.)

B:*sigh* (what did i just do wrong)

Half-truths turning on me?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Back To My Roots

Back To My Roots

*feeling on a high now*
been digging into my New Age/ World (& some classical) music collection recently (The oldest of em' must be a decade-old now!)

but, ever-so-precious they are.
songs, without words.
yet they say so much, stir emotions & touch the inner-me.

From the beginning: Band/Classical, to NewAge, to Pop, to 80's Pop, & to New Age once more. ah........ yes. after so long.
it has come full-circle. they've found their way back to me once more.

there are love ballads and nice pop.
but they'll never offer the same range of interpretation & depth
that is intrinsic in free-form ebony&ivory-twinklings, six-string-strummings, choral tone-poems or orchestral-masterpieces

anyone keen to borrow cds? (em i a new-age preacher or what :))

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Untitled Thoughts

Untitled Thoughts
(Last)Friday Evening:

After my 2.4km run at Bedok Stadium, I am walking home happily.
Being pleased with the 15-second progress since last week,
I yoddle a cheesy* pop-song or two along the way.
*(Think: Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" & Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl")

When I got out of the lift, I flipped out the little nylon-pocket hidden
in my running shorts; to get my key. Then, I was struck by horror-of-all-horrors to find another little-hole (that wasn't the pocket-opening) on that little nylon-pocket! I poked my little-finger through that little-hole. "Right, just my lucky day", I thought.

At times like these, I am dumbstruck. Amazed- at how the littlest of things/events can have effects anything-but-little. Hmm, maybe I should spend this time inspecting the cleanliness of my common corridor.

And then somehow, before the thought of having to wait for my parents to come home crossed my mind, I decided to check my shorts again.

*flips out nylon-pocket* "Dang!"
*pulls waistband of shorts outwards* "Hmmp?!"
Lo and behold~ the key was retained by the inner "netting-layer" of my shorts. Found literally between the legs. (I believe no further description of it's location is necessary)
Well, this little "undergarment" that I sometimes rather not have in my shorts sure saved me from vegetating for the evening this time...

Sunday noon:

I followed my parents to Bedok Central. I wasn't feeling in the mood
for supermarket prowling & so brought some stationary along - having
in mind a trip to the Bedok Community Library whilst I wait for my folks.

After lunch at the hawker centre, we parted ways and agreed to rendevous in about 2hrs-time; the mode of communication being SMS. With a satisfied tummy, I trot along to the nearby library.

The lights were out.
& goodness reminded me that it was Vesak Day - when I saw
a banner outside informing of the library's closure for this day.
"Great" "Let's just walk around the rest of the place"

I had just stepped out from one of the (numerous) wholesale stores in the area when I felt a little twitching in my left eye.
*blinks* *blinks again* (trying not to direct these "gestures" at anyone in particular)

I instinctively reached for my eye to gently apply some pressure (ok, a rub, of sorts).
I remember my MaMa used to say: "Don't rub your eyes or you'll go blind."
& true enough, when I opened my left-peeper, I was seeing double.
My contact lens had been dislodged frm its appropriate position (o.<) But, fortunately, the lens was still on my eyeball- I could feel something when I lowered my left eyelid. Now, I had to find a washroom before i could remedy this malady. What was before a friendly neighbourhood town centre was now a freakish dimension teeming with 2-headed, 4-eyed, 8-limbed & etc.. beings. (when u have astigmatism and only one contact lens on, you get more spectacular visuals for less eye-aid)

Alright, i sensationalise. But to see the world "filtered half-fuzzy" is
a interesting, humbling experiencing in itself. Imagine:
Right eye sees man with checkered shirt while left eye picks up some blotchy patchwork instead. Drawing and painting would never be the same again!

I rushed to the 2nd-most-appropriate washroom for the matter - at Burger King restaurant.(The 1st choice would be the ones in the Library. "Dang!") There was already a queue outside what seemed like the lavatory.
"Argh--!" (o.-) *closes left eye* That was one overused, unisex lavatory!

I trudged off to the kopitiam next to the BK.
We all know that kopitiam washrooms are not the most pleasant of places to do whatever business in. But given the urgency of the situation, I had to give it a shot.
"Here goes.." *takes deep breath* & into the dimly-lit, slippery-floored place.
The stain-streaked mirror, with the lack of lighting, made it impossible to check my eye.
I washed my hands and left.

I was still thinking of where to head next when I walk past this clothing retailer.

I spied the empty fitting rooms and decided, "This will be it!"
I grabbed a pair of jeans from a display rack with one hand and into the cubicle I went.

Bright, wide mirror inside. Just what I needed!
I peered as widely as I could into the reflection of my left eyeball.
I finally found my lens, slightly folded(onto itself) by the corner of the exposed eyeball-surface. I used my "clean" fingers(of the hand that did not touch the jeans after washing) to "unfold" that misbehaving film (of silicone?).

Normal-vision was finally restored. *drops an eye-drop* "ah... much better now"
As I walked towards the supermarket, I passed various retailers & noticed that prices seemed to have fallen by half from when I last remembered/saw. Strange indeed.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

First Dance

First Dance

We take the baby-steps,
I am recalling how to lead.
You gently urge me along,
your "anything goes" puts me at ease

Swaying a little off-balance,
you pull me back to reality.
When you ask the simple questions,
all my Heart is for you to see

Then I thought, you were falling;
slipping away, into another's hand
"The little dance was so... terrorizing."
I was compelled & ignored my loose ankle

Guided by sheer faith;
& an awakened spirit frm within,
in you I put my trust;
& reached out to start a spin

A ballet to a tango,
our thoughts a merry jingle.
& on to the Rhumba-beat,
before we did the Lindy Hop

As the opening-tune draws to a close,

our feverish Flamenco stops
We take time to reflect -
events so wierd, Twists over-the-top

Now, I come to you,
to ask just one more dance
With no other intentions,
I appeal for my chance

If you're keen enough,
like you are on clouds & rainbows,
I'll talk, walk, sing with you;
& sweep me off my feet, you always will

But should my rhythm be off,
or my footwork go wrong,
No questions asked,
you may retire before the end of song

Lifting my open palms, & although
struggling with the words so few,
Truly, I long to embrace;
to dance an Endless Waltz with you

Imaginary Scene frm an Imaginary Club named "XouQ":
thum(x4), tiutiu(x4), ladadadida...
"Oops, I'm sorry" "Didn't mean to step on your toes"
"Ok fine, but.." "Next drink's on you!"
"I thought you don't drink?"
"I'm making it easy for you" "Or you'd rather do my nails for me!?"

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Another Ordinary Day

Another Ordinary Day

*Uncurling oneself on bed*
conducts water-parade

consumes oatmeal-cereal drink Mom prepared
browses yest's papers at the same time

contemplates going for run
succumbs to living room sofa
contemplates taking an afternoon nap

receives an SMS
calls Marc to offer advice on working with acrylic paint

ransacks refrigerator
pops a plastic tub into the microwave
yest's dinner-leftovers became today's Brunch(or is it Tea?)

misc activities: day-dreaming, browsing thru somemore "was-news", sky-gazing & etc

lying on sofa
notices a weather most excellent for outdoor activity
recalls an unofficial notification of deadline for IPPT

looks for comfort-attire to make enjoyable the activity ahead
performs stretches on floor

light-jogs to stadium
notices rather uncrowded running-track
sees how far a ball, pro-footballers whack
Proceeds to do a 2.4km
Begins recording of lap-timing

manages to finish without spilling any innards/undigested Brunch
realises need for more regular runs

notices fairly empty swimming-pool
decides to do a lil' more training
swims near the pool-floor; releasing breath gradually
dosen't make it very far before lungs threathen to collaspe

performs cleaning routine in bathroom
appreciates the existence of water-heating devices

pops another tub into the radioactive device
imagines possible effects of nuclear activity in various places:
NewZealand: 5 million Beef steaks well-done in under a minute.

China: Few thousands years of heritage and civilisation + billions in population + zillions of chopsticks, erased in 1 min.

Antarctica: Millions of years of geology would be sent spewing all across the globe in 2 min, causing a world-wide incalcation of recipes for Ice Kachang, ChingTeng, Ice Jelly & etc in 2 days.

Singapore: 100+ strands of rice flour + 20thin slices of fish cake + 4 prawns = CharBeeHoon in 3 min.

my "day" starts.
to work, to work..

say "Good Morning" to Mom
hears the tinkling of cups and spoons and cereal-tins
curls up into a snoring-ball

Sunday, May 08, 2005

The Twin Brudda!

The Twin Brudda!
My Sporadic Dose of Schizo^!








questions? comments? anything to say abt Twin Brudda??

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Beyond the Laws of Nature

Beyond the Laws of Nature
Theory of God's Will

Warning! Potentially Blasphemous Content ahead:

This post is inspired by Alvin's post on
Miracles .
My first reaction after reading that was: "Heh, another non-believer~(of religion)."

Now for the record, I personally believe in the existence of the Universal Creator, otherwise known as God. However, like Alvin, I have chosen not to place my faith in any of the various religions that exist today. My main reason for doing so is: To remain unbiasedly respectful of the teachings of ALL the various faiths.

With all due respect, I think Mohammed, Buddha & Jesus have done a great job in guiding many people to lead meaningful lives. But, I do think that neither one of them is greater than the other; and that perhaps they are all equal representations of The Almighty One. I apologise if that remark offended anyone in anyway. I assure you that I mean no malice.

Let's examine the meaning of "
Miracle". - search result from
Most of us already know the word as defined in most universities' 2kg-tissue-box-sized publications. But on top of those, I kinda buy this:

"God ordinarily effects his purpose through the agency of second causes; but he has the power also of effecting his purpose immediately and without theintervention of second causes, i.e., of invading the fixed order, and thus ofworking miracles. Thus we affirm the possibility of miracles, the possibilityof a higher hand intervening to control or reverse nature's ordinary movements" -extract frm Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary

Now, remember what I said about my belief in the existence of 1 God.
Long ago, I used to think that perhaps humans created God,
for purposes of self-expression;& for good or for bad causes.
The very thought of, thinking a God into existence, sounded fairly plausible to me.
"Man, God could have been one of mankind's greatest inventions if that were true!"
But times have changed.

& today I state:
Premise 1: Science rationalises phenomena based on proven Natural Laws and physical evidence.
P2: Occurances that cannot be logically explained by science may be acts of God's Will.
P3: Everything, without reasonable proof otherwise, may well be regarded as truth.

Conclusion 1: Everything (that Science hasn't yet proven otherwise) was created by God from him/herself.
C2: God is the Singular Truth that exists in everything.

You're going to ask me, "Why the change in opinion today?"
I can only say that: In the past 20+ yrs of my existence, I've gone through some wonderful experiences that upon reflection, seem unexplainable and even unreal. And for them to have occured, there must have been a invisible, unworldly, cosmic force at play.

Let's see what I can seive out from the crumbling-yellowing-scrapbook that is my memory.
Random Event 1:
UEFA Champions League Final 1999: Man Utd vs Bayern Munich
Bayern lead 1-0 going into 3mins of added-time at end of match. Within those 3mins, Teddy scored the fateful equaliser and Ole put in the miraculous Cup-winning goal!
Definitely the most amazing soccer match i've ever watched.
Random Event 2:
2002:Exercise Homerun in R.O.C - Night Assault on Objective.
PC approaches possible FUP with Platoon2(PL2). Cannot see objective from current location; not sure of current location as well. *gulp* Walking along dried-up river, decides to scale bare river-bank to get to higher ground with his men. Up there, objective was found to be 100+ metres ahead, but PL2 was facing the reserve side of the slope we had planned to charge.
"Bang" *Thunderflash & smoke alarm goes off* (instructor tripped one booby off)
"Darn, what to do now!?" "Call for support fire!" "Bronze Now!"
"Drrggg-dg-dg... drrrrg-dg-dg-dg..." *faint Machine-Gun fire heard in the howling wind*

Time was running out for PL2 to get into position for the assault.
PC signals to PL2 & makes a dash towards dimly-lit track ahead(behind the objective).
The backslope of the objective seemed impossible to scale. Roughly 70degrees steep and well vegetated with birch trees. PC looks behind to see Platoon chasing him into this darkness. He must proceed.

"Damn, Where am I going!?" *Leads Platoon further along the dim track*
About 50m into that, PC spots a small narrow clearing of sorts on that very slope, near the track. "No time to think" "This is it!"
Signalling to PL2, he starts bashing into the vegetation.
Steep yes, but surprisingly the route was kindly less-dense with vegetation further upslope. It helped too, that the slope was dry and weathered to be somewhat a natural stairway w branches and roots for railings.
The PC's heart was racing, his each step taking PL2 closer to what seemed like an opening into the night sky. "Where would he lead us to!?" "What would be waiting for us there?"

At the opening, PL2 found themselves near the top of their objective: a open-air war-zone offering no cover & concealment.
*Machine Gun ceases fire*
PC crawls forwards with two men, and discover a con-wire fence. Not far from this was what seemed like a shellscrape with a fieldpack sticking out. PL2 conducts a silent breaching of the con-wire fence, since no enemies were in sight. Or so the PC thought! A guard was later found sound-asleep in the shell-scrape mentioned earlier. Sneaking through the gap, and spreading out his men, PC then realised that they have just reached the top, rear-end of the objective! PL2 has approached the enemy from the least likely position! Creeping forward, Platoon gets ready to charge an enemy that was dug-in but facing a similar direction of our assault. And the rest they say was, "We did PL1 frm behind; kicked their butts, literally".

Okay, end of recollection-session, b4 this post overflows.
To analyse, both events occured years apart, involved very different groups of people. In both cases, people who forged through rather trying circumstances, emerged triumphant. In both situations, nobody present expected the events to unfold as they did.

Do you think those present then, took full-credit for their victories?
I doubt so.
Perhaps Charlie Chance, Cody Coincidence, Deborah Destiny,
Farah Fate, Lindy Luck, & Mike Miracle were acknowledged as well.
& where could these always-welcomed guests have come from?
Nobody, but perhaps God, knows.

Moments like these appear in my mind from time-to-time,
as still frames that never fail to exude an awe-inspiring effect.
Because these events occur with such uncanny alignment/arrangement of space-time, I find it hard to accept any possible human-explaination & so, ask that you too, be satisfied with God's Will.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Just Do It

Just Do It

Bro Marc's post was the inspiration for mine today.. see here

I think the issue of "madness" gives rise to a debate on ethical philosophy.
How justifiable can the means to judge, whether a person is sane or of unsound mind, be?

Who is to say what is right or wrong?

From a ethical point of view, I think every person is entitled their own "freedom", so long as their free-willed actions do not directly cause suffering to another person.

If true freedom exists, then the outcasts that Bro Marc mentioned should not be confined in institions at all. But alas, even a democracy governs by the word of the masses. And we can only watch, as the masses dictate every aspect of our social norms.

"Bo jeng hu" condemn Pay-And-Pay & u'll start finding ISD agents disguised as mobile keropok stall operators and taxi-drivers around your neighbourhood. Anyhow wear checkered pants & the fashionistas will sue you for "visual assault"(phrase borrowed frm Jo=). Ask the Cai Dao Kuei Uncle to serve the egg seperate frm the carrot-cake & he'll probably exclaim "lu siao ah!" The list goes on & on..

I'm sure everyone has their fair share of deviance; but kept to a minimum due to societal pressures (with a little help from folks home perhaps)

So, my message to everyone is this:
Expressing your inner self is a beautiful thing. Do not be bothered whether it's unique, trendy or passe.
Do your thang & be happy you did it your way.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

After Sunset

After Sunset...

How can I let you know?
Can words even convey it at all?
Or would actions speak louder?

Maybe if I look into your eyes,
my whole experience would be revealed to your soul.

I have always sought goodness in every person around me.
But in you, I see goodness personified.
Now, I don't have to try to see, it just glows from your being.
Because of you, everyone else matters.
I find the feeling closer the more I treat them like you would.
Maybe, being like you is the only way to stay close to you.

Oh God,
Thank you for your blessings.

"That's when I need them, that's when I need my Father's eyes..."
My Father's Eyes; lyrics by Eric Clapton