When the music fades

bittersweet
light & heavy
boiled leaves & bergamot
just being human

the sunset i crave
miles and months to pray
my jury exists one
just human being

******

*ticks a line on the page*
*clicks a watch on*
*time for cell*

Overwhelming...
Pent feelings and scary thoughts manifest themselves
when you're at your lowest of moods.
Then you long for the Encourager's hand to cover you,
to comfort and hide you from what lurks in the worldly woods.
But it gets difficult when things aren't as tangible
as your senses can perceive. It is then we must
continue to give-praise in spite of circumstances;
prevail in the face of steepness;
persistantly worship with all our being.

He never rejects a humbled, broken spirit.
We need not dwell too long in brokeness before
His Spirit reminds us of the miracle of salvation we
already received.

Love never fails.
Still, I need to know.
Purpose. Place.
Is this the yoke I should bear?

Lord,
I pray;
reveal Your will,
speak Your mind;
for your servant waits.

Chinkapolean Chweem (part2)

The scene: A small gallery with on-going art exhibition.
The cast: GallerySeater, DJ & Myself + some occassional exhibition viewers

not chronologically accurate; but it doesn't matter here:
***
G: Whoa, my place there, there's this really cute Eurasian girl who takes the bus every morning also. Sometimes, I take the same bus as her.
D: A.... naughty ah you. Never go and talk to her?
G: Aye, don't dare to lah. What can I say to her?
(some cheesy lines follow) Hahahaa..
D: *chuckles* You say, "(insert less cheesy-sounding line)" lah~ Heh heh..
G: You know, there's this thing about Peranakan girls that makes them so Ooh~!
Those I ever met are all very sweet one.
D: Aye, where to find them nowadays...
G: Hey, you sound like you need a girlfriend eh.
D: yea, (in American-accent)ZhangZiYi would be nice. *sigh*
M: Hey guys,
I noticed some of my friends today are attached to Malaysian-borne girls. What do you think about that?
G: Hmm, think they can appreciate a simpler way of life since they didn't grow u in SG?
D: I dunno.. Maybe not as materialistic as local girls?
M: interesting...

******

D: Eh, you know nowadays, those kids start using the word "scene".
Can't stand it man. Can't they just call it "community" like everyone else?
G: It's not only that;
they're listening to heavy metal and wear anarchy tee-shirts. See some of these kids in our school too. But don't know why they can't appreciate punk-rock. I mean, it's like as if they wear anti-establishment on their shirts but don't know what it really means. It's just fashion to them. Shallow sia.
D: How come last time we kids not like that one ah?
G: Think last time life was simple.
You know that day, I was walking downstairs front of my block. There was this group of kids cycling in my direction. They said, "Uncle! Siam, siam!" You know, I wasn't angry man.
D: Except for the "Uncle" bit? haha..
G: *smiling/fist over heart* I was thinking, "Hey, I feel you bro! Alright~Keep it up & you'll live longer!" Man, I was happy to see kids on bicycles for once in such a long time. Kids nowadays don't play outdoors like we used to eh?
M: I remember playing soccer with my primary school friends.
G: Yea, last time when there was Malaysia Cup, all the kids were playing soccer right.
D: Ya, play at the void deck, the basketball courts.
G: I think those days Singapore had more identity. People seemed more united and everyone supported the National Team proudly. Every kid wanted to be like Fandi!
D: Aiyah, sad lah, how we kena kick out.
G: Ya lah, it was only a few of them who kelong what. Only Alistair, Abbas what. Why couldn't we carry on with the rest of the team? Think they were too hard on Sundram also.

*all sigh*

******
(caucasian couple, probably British-descent, enter gallery)
Couple: Excuse me, are you just sitting on the exhibits, or are part of the exhibits?
Us: Er yea, we' re supposed to view and appreciate the other works from this piece.
Couple: (amused) Alright then~ *chuckle*

******

G: Eh now i staring work already. Cannot like last time, anytime also can go for supper with friends. I remember staying out until 3 or 4 with the guys. Sometimes, even up till 6, then go school from there. Haha.
D: Yea boy, supper shiok sia . Now not so often already. Last time always go supper and I got cycle a lot too; so ok. *looks at midriff* Today, aye...
G: I think cos' all my friends Malay one, so we like to hang out a lot. Got that kampung-spirit you know.
M: I used to have more Malay & Indian friends during primary school. We always played soccer together. Nowadays not really in-touch with them though.
G: Oh yea, I notice now more Chinese like to hang-out late also? How come they follow our bad example? Haha..
*all chuckle*

******

G: You still playing with your band?
D: Yea, I am. Still making our music and stuff.
You know, I hate how the media says "local music"; as in "support local music"
It's like some stigma like that. Why can't they just call ours' "music". Just that.
It's music also what! Just let people hear us and let them think what they want.
G: aye, they trying to encourage people to support local productions. but yea, maybe they shouldn't call it "local music" cos' some Singaporeans when they hear "local", they may think it's not as good as some Western group.
D: Yea, what for compare? Singapore-made music is still music what.
G: Well, it's the same thing in Art/Design-scene what. We don't get as recognised as maybe some Ang Moh's work.

M: My art teacher told me before that he feels Singapore's education system is too focused on math and science. I think today's kids have a bit more choices.
D: Yea, at least the government start recognising something.
G: But actually, that was good strategy you know. When Singapore first got kicked out from M'sia, LKY then didn't have much choice but to develop our security and economy first. So since then, we all till today have to do N.S. to defend ourselves. And also, our schools have to teach what will be good for business.
M: Right *sigh*

******

Chinkapolean Chweem (part1)

To me,
it was a tragic stereotypical cynical social commentary
cum reality-tv-drama-serial-cross...

Lurking within my subconscious, the ugly pessimistic views of life surfaced while watching Singapore Dreaming. I found myself being challenged, apalled and scared at the issues that were brought up in the film. pain, heartbreak, angst.

***

Some dark issues that stuck with me:
- overly image-conscious, materialistic nature of some of the characters - a case of misplaced values.
- being the disillusionment/disappointments that dawns upon some of the characters - a case of unrealised aspirations/dreams.
- stereotyped but painfully "real" portraits of average Singaporeans(SGeans) in their vernacular state, so kitsch, so cliched, emotional, in want, noveau-riche*, self-conscious, naive, submissive, whiny.

Still, there were also flashes of idealism, optimism; forward-looking, courageous, tenacious, tolerent, bite-the-bullet spirit that somewhat countered the negative character traits portrayed. We got to have at least some of that make it this far since 1965 don't we?

***

How does a film depicting 1st/2nd generation SGeans produced/directed by a 2nd gen SGeans connect with a 3rd Gen SGean like myself?
It all stems from my childhood years I suppose, where I spent quite a fair bit of time staying with my maternal grandparents. My grandparents raised me and my younger brother in a 3room flat where a few of their own children(my uncles and aunties) were still living in then.

Clothed in my sky and sea blue pre-school uniform & waiting at the living-room 3-seater**, I remember seeing my aunts(who shared a room with double-decker bed inside) and uncles(who shared the other bedroom with Grandpa) getting ready for work at daybreak. They took turns to use the bathroom or toilet. The ladies had a collection of make-up accessories waiting for them at dresser in their room. Grandpa would be doing his morning exercises at the spacious lift lobby area. Grandma would be laying out the breakfast fare on the dining table. (Milo and half-boiled eggs with Jacob's square-crackers were my favourite! Apart from You2 Tiao3{longish deep-fried fritters that comes in pairs})

Amidst the rush of all those hazy hasty mornings, I recall aunties or uncles encouraging me to "do well in school so you can find a better job", or telling me "I never study further than sec4, so now like that. you must do better ok!", "your papa and mummy work so hard, because they got to support you and your brother(and the house) so you must work hard also"
Better... Further...
Had I been a little older to know, I might have guessed that life was meant
to be lived like the Olympics - faster, higher, stronger.

It didn't make much sense to a boy who only loved drawing early then.
Okay, and maybe his tricycle with the sqeaky-horn too, I admit.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*noveau-riche: characteristic of someone who has risen economically or socially but lacks the social skills appropriate for this new position - Answers.com
**living-room 3-seater: This wooden-framed sofa was what Grandma slept on at night during those days.

Kitsch - plead

>.<
Dear readers,
I have to be a little thick skin
& ask this in spite of myself:

*****************************************************************
"Can u spare me a few mins to do this academic-research survey please?"
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=780482581176
It's for my Graphic Design dissertation on the subject of "kitsch"

Visit this page for a simple intro to kitsch~

If you found the survey interesting,
do share it with one or two or your pals/gals~
:-D Thanks very much~!!

*****************************************************************

park bench quiet time

reflecting before a tree,
i opened my eyes to see
the falling frangipani

365 Days Crossed

A back dated post...
17th August 2006
Now that I'm a year-old Christian, I look back and see how things have changed...
It may appear that no significnt changes have occured, but I can attest to the great work
that Christ has done with my inner being.

Not that all my days since were sunny and with glee.
Not that there there were no more heart-breaks and bouts of self-doubt.

******

8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NIV)

******
During the times when I was feeling down,
I would be comforted after reading an encouraging verse or two and telling Jesus
my troubles though prayer.

When things were going my way and I was feeling confident about things,
I'd be reminded by verses that spoke of humility and prompt me to give thanks
to my Provider.

And when troubles arose in relationships with people around me,
the Healer has shown Himself to comfort sorrowful hearts and
work even in pre-believers whom I know have been kept in prayer.

I may not have had distinctly supernatural encounters with the Spirit yet,
but so far, the way that events fall into place with impromptu activities fitting nicely into schedules; makes me think of the Planner's thoughtfulness and smile.

Only on one occassion did I feel the Spirit manifest itself in my being...

During the ministry-time of the BMC* I attended back in March, I was praying amidst fellow
BMC brothers and sisters for the Father's touch. And at some point in time, my
arms and chin, which were raised toward the ceiling, started trembling and became warm.
An experience unlike any other that I did not even know what was going on. But it felt as if
a pair of hands was gently embracing my cheeks. Tears and tongues spontaneously followed.

******

"12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ----------------------- Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV)

******
Because I wasn't free earlier in the week, a telephone-meeting was arranged tonight between me and a fellow cell-mate. The conversation that followed entailed possible roles that I might have to be prepared to fulfill within the cell. With the eventual departure of several cell-mates who'd also graduated from University recently, I see myself parting with the old-mates and welcoming new ones who are just beginning their varsity life.

New ventures on the stroke of a year? I do feel an uncertainty about my state of preparedness, but cell-mate reassured me that "a heart that is willing to be used by Him will be equipped" and that "God values His children's obedience".

And so now I'm learning to cultivate a submissive spirit - in the context of doing God's work.
And as I see the growing necessity of filling-in those cell-functions, I can only start praying that my limited knowledge of the Word and people-skills will be put to His use; entrusting the ministry to His miracle-able hands. Amen.

******
*BMC : Baptism & Membership Class

How now, brown cow?

Losing sleep as a result of my BAGD* research and proposal making...
I understand very well when you say: "Stimuli like, too much information, seeing too many of something, too much noise" that begets "descending feeling of fear, dread or depression"
( Joles © 2006 with too much, too little... p 14 Aug 2006)

I even wonder if that citation was done in an
academically-appropriate manner; like every other quotation
I've scoured and sieved through LKCRL** for.

(Way)Earlier this morning I was dreading the prospect of
facing the penalty my tutor said she'd impose on those who fail to
submit our personal project-PPI's***, coupled with citations and bibliographies.
"...Shall not receive consultation-sessions from me..."

Deciding to take a power-nap, I lay on the couch in my living room.
T'was pitch dark except the view outside the lone open window:
a dense saturated violet/burgundy glowing faintly at the edge of the horizon.

Just as I lull into the void of unconsciousness,
somewhere in my head fires an instinctive warning that
jolts my senses out of slumber.
Swallowing slowly, I could not help but fear the above-said penalty.

Steadying my breath and thoughts,
I shuttle between wakefulness and the darkness a dozen tries
Even the ambient peaceful hush could not put my mind at rest-the wordless warnings
echo like remnant smoke trails that follow after the surprise mental artillery.
After my fatigued mind numbed itself out, a slab of steak dissolves in my sub-conscious.

How now, brown cow?

_________________________________________

BAGD*Bachelor of Arts; Graphic Design
LKCRL**Lee Kuo Chuan Reference Library, National Library
PPI***Plan, Purpose & Intention

riding out of the sunset

*! *
^

o, o
~


6.6
*














recently,
several deadlines arrived like 3 lasso(es) flung out of the dimension known as
the past("i think 2 or 3 weeks should be enough to get this done")
and just tightened themselves over my neck and limbs...

having done just enough to get them nooses loosened,
i'm once again galloping along the dusty plains,
searching for suitable pastures in the land of the gigantic bookshelves...

at present("hey i think i can breathe a little better now")
i can barely smell any scent of danger; but in the corner of my eye,
the ropes are ever twirling, wielded by those whom i entrust or am entrusted to.

God knows
they have been easy on me so far
God sees
every crumb, every snore & every tap of my chin

Lord in You i trust
deliver me Your way,
i declare Your mercies and grace!

Nehsasali Notty Notise

Deer elliwan who nose me hor,
I bery beeji in you-nee lately. But leemember i still yr blardder.

ChiChing Bladderhoot:
Got NIU photos frm Genting Highs-land n U-Wei Ikea-land Dipachure

NTU-Cell de:
I up-lowding photos frm the July's FareWell n B'day party.
But like take very long leh becoz te systum muz wan-by-wan pick te files de.
So myb when lu lead dis liao, still hairven up-lowd feenice.. Paiseh ah..

******

By the way, the above infomation is acurate and is meant to be communicated to the above-said people-groups. I trust that I won't be receiveing any requests for a "translation" of the above from anyone of u readers? o.0

Though it reads easy on the dialect-knowing tongue, it's surprisingly not so simple to actually spell every syllable differently.

It is, however, refreshing to be writing and speaking with language&spell-check "off" once in a while. Especially now when I've to drag myself to the library and struggle to keep my eyes open whilst reading through academic essays.

Yes.
Graphic Design.
Has many theories.
Well-documented in several academic publications.
Plus other academic fields from which GD can be philosophised, sociologised, economised n anthropologised (& etc-ised) upon.
Do those word-forms exist?
No time for that now.
Tell me if u do know.

******

Your Name... is a strong and mighty tower!

Good Friday Night

~ Wide Night Sky ~

Easy Dinner

Mom was eager to catch last episode of TV-serial this evening.
She asked if I would go buy us takeaway-dinner. I asked Dad and
he said. "Why not we cook something. There're things in the fridge and freezer right?"
I thought about it. Then remembered that we got a bottle of olive oil not long ago; and I had wanted to try cooking stuff with with it! Aha! I'll use the frozen fish, some tomatoes and whatever else I can find.

Fresh ingredients into the fry:
20mins later, my creation was ready to be served:
"Pan-fried Dory-fillet with Tomato-apple sauce"












Chef's comments:
-Fish was fragrant with olive oil and coarse black-pepper seasoning.. (now i think almost anything cooks nicely with olive oil (^^)
- Fried tomatoes were bursting with olive-oil enhanced juices
- Fried apples were tender and tasted like "apple-pie filling"
- Tomato-Apple sauce that resulted from frying the two ingredients was yummy! (^^)

Hope u're not feeling too hungry now.. :p

Complete

Port Dickson 25 March 2006

I sometimes wonder:
If one achieves all that he has set out to do in life, what else is there for him to live for?
Would he strive to leave behind a legacy of his own? Or would he attempt to lead a totally different life; to try living life in someone else's shoes perhaps.

One thing I've noticed is that some people can indulge themselves in luxury all they want
but never find satisfaction. And there are those who work hard just to sustain their hedonistic pursuits. To some, the pub or disco has become a place of worship(of worldly pleasures)!
Yet at closing time, do all the revellers leave their favourite nightspots feeling like they had a great time? Would that kind of "high" sustain them or lift their spirits throughout the rest of their working-lives? Or would they sober-up one morning; after a hang-over, to find themselves still hungry for something more than any human-relationship or comfort foods can provide...

Here is a song that speaks to me so much about how God has worked in my life..
Have a listen here .

Complete
-------------------------------------------------------------
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You
-------------------------------------------------------------
Source: Willingdon Church (Burnaby, Canada) <--More worship-song downloads and resources available too~

I believe I stumbled upon it, not by chance, but by the awesome and mysterious ways of God. And His hand is always at work in our hearts, moulding us to be just like his Son; teaching us to love as He loved.

******

To those of you who think God is somewhere far away in the cosmos, know this:
His presence is everywhere. Whenever. Wherever.

In fact, at this very moment, His hand is gently knocking on the door of your heart.
Patiently waiting so that He may have even just a minute or two,
from your hecitc life, to spend with you.

He relishes the times when you call upon Him;
He's always been wanting to have a relationship with you.

When you get to know Him and trust in His plans to prosper you,
you won't be too puzzled about life anymore.

God enjoys putting the puzzle-pieces of our lives into place.
Even if you only find Him in the twilight years of your life,
the heavens will still rejoice!

No joy is there like finding oneself complete in Him.
With God, we're complete.

Race against the worldly...

I huffed...
and I puffed...
and almost spilled my lungs out!

Just came back from a run KL invited me to join in.
It was a weekly Thursday affair organised by RunningLab (a retail outlet at Funan Centre catering to every runner's needs!) and local running-enthusiast-group SG Runners.

***

Today, Nike Singapore came to offer some of their latest running-specific models for us to try out on the road. F.O.C. plus a range of about 4-5 different models catering to various persons feet-specifications; both for the ladies and men. That was one of the incentives for me personally. For you see, I have not been hitting the road/track/trail regularly enough. I knew that the 10km-route to be covered that evening was not to be taken lightly.

So I thought giving this a shot might help rekindle those athletic aspirations I once had :p
School(almost expectedly) schedule is the reason for this season of sedentry or "nua-ness" (btw I believe "nua" in Hokkien means: "liquify", also refers to "saliva", but used in my context it means to "slack-off physically".) These days, I only manage short jog/runs lasting no more than 30mins, roughly twice a week. That seems to be the bare minimum for maintaining some form of fitness that I once had during N.S. (Not fantastic but to me, it's a milestone already!)

And so we gathered at this wide open pavement, along the SG-river (opposite some nice-looking restaurants like Riciotti and Just Steak). There, the whole lot of about 40 runners were led through a comprehensive warm-up session. I found out from another fellow senior SG Runner that he appreciates the warm-up leader's efforts. "Very good stretching and best thing is that we don't need to sit on the ground too!" he quipped heartily.

***

We took off towards the Esplanade park, passing Clarke Quay, Empress Place(where the A.C.M is now, with VCH nearby), Cavenah and Anderson Bridge along the way. We make a right at the Esplande Bridge, taking the broad walkway beneath the bridge, and towards the Esplanade Theatre. Going past the numerous strolling couples and dinner crowds in the restaurants alongside, I couldn't help but wonder who was more envious of the two parties - I'd love to be having dinner just there and then but perhaps the diners were wishing they could have more exercise in their lives too. hoho...

At almost 2km, we "charge" into the coastal grounds known as Marina Promenade. As I passed beneath the Sheares bridge flyover, I felt a tinge of doubt; questioning whether I cound actually make it back on my own two feet, running!

Anyway, to spare you the excess commentry, at the 5km turning-point, Kallang MRT was no more than 200m away. As we made the U-turn, the sheer thought of having to cover that much distance back to finish was almost crippling,psychologically. This was mainly because of a growing ache in my lower abdomen that, up to this point, had been not subsiding at all. The other mind-block had to do with the memory of my freak lung puncture back in 2000.

Now, every stride I took was becoming shorter.I tried hard to regulate my breathing but the ache in the belly wouldn't go. KL called out to me as he noticed me lagging behind. I waved him forward, asking him to go on first since he still showed no signs of tiring. Then in a brotherly-gesture, he slowed down his pace to match mine, constantly urging me to keep going. I appreciated his timely encouragement and convinced myself that I was going to hang in there despite that tummy-cramp.

With his motivation, we made it back in about 53mins. That works out to be 5min18sec per km.
Later, we retrieved our bags from Running Lab, freshened-up and went to nearby Circular Road(i think) coffee-shop for dinner. Fellow SG runner commented over dinner that "today's pace offered a reasonably good workout". I certain agreed; recalling how I much better I felt after the finish - once I caught my breath and cooled down.

***

As I reflected on the run later...
I realised how it parallels one's walk with God.

The physical strains to keep oneself moving forwards is akin to the Bible-study and Quiet-time in the process of spiritual growth.
When fatigue sets in later in the run, words of encouragement are priceless towards helping one reach the finish-line. And likewise when various challenges threathen to dampen one's spiritual-life, there is nothing like being prayed for by fellow Brothers & Sisters; to affirm each other in Christ.

Patience is of upmost importance especially in long-distance runs.
A SG Runner commented, "Young people generally don't have the patience to run marathons. That's why you notice mainly middle-aged people participating in them. Bcs they have the patience to run 4-5hrs on the road". If one starts off too quick a pace than necessary, the irregular rhythm and cramps that results later nullifies any initial advantage gained.
And in our relationship with God, we should not be preoccupied with trying to make God tangible to us. Just as every relationship requires time and devotion, let us instead seek to build ours' based on the fundamental truth that "God loves us"; reciprocrating His love in earnest prayer, worship and ministry. With that, may we come to realise that God's been with us all this while.

***

Perhaps...
The race, of life, is in fact against oneself.
Search your heart. Only when you find the pace that works best for you; will you truly find contentment and enjoyment with every stride you take.

***

A Big "Thank You" to KL
-for it was he who helped me with my leap of faith .
6 months and counting now :)

"And let us consider how we may consider to spur one another on toward love and good deeds" Hebrews 10:24

Grounded Cupid

'Twas 300-odd days ago,
on the postman i rested my hope
The next evening we let words flow,
A light rekindled as she spoke

Reviving sentimentalities,
we casually delight
each-other's faint memories;
funny how our paths reunite

And so began the wooing
that looked to a future
There was sincere purpose
and heartfelt gesture

Then slowly came the issues,
that begged to be revealed
Was your trust misused,
and thus remorse congealed?

I prayed for healing,
you searched your heart
Lord heard our pleading;
forgiveness He'd impart

Yet that was all,
but surely lasting-bliss
Though He took our fall
still something was amiss

We had reserved ourselves
before the elders spoke
Though babes in Christ,
we were unequally yoked

Just about a fortnight ago,
we were ministered to
Hearing Godly advice though
there were dangers exposed too

And so we agreed
that we'd let the Lord show
If we fit indeed
pray He'd let us know

Although it's tough when our heart's all silenced
I will trust with all my spirit, in His steadfast asylum

Drawing the 38th Parallel

It was a thorough and long discussion on things that had dawned upon us.
These new insights on matters-of-the-heart have proved to be compelling and challenging to our otherwise "ordinary(but still religious)" conceptions on the topic.

Perhaps there is Godly counsel yet to be sought; that step which we unwittingly jumped, proceeding to trust solely our 1st impressions, reflections and emotions. However innocently we had convened on the issue then, we must live with the ramifications of our actions.

I pray for God's presence to be with us as we offer-up our union for His sake.
Should He allow us to continue, then brighter, our Light must shine.
Yet if He bid us apart, then it shall be done amicably.

Grant Your children wisdom I pray.
In You we trust.
Amen.

Fulfilling Forgotten Fanfare

Into Queenstown & Beyond

I made my way to Katong Shopping Centre (K.S.C) during the mid-day lesson-break today..
Went there by myself yep; cos' most of my class had dispersed already after lecture while i waited for lecturer to be free for a word or two.

At K.S.C, I dropped-off 3 books for photo-copying. Yep, I'm too lazy(and stingy) to want to find out if stores stock these precious tomes I reckon will be useful for my visual-communication-theories report. (they should help me generate at least half, if not 1/3 of tt 2000word report by end of this Sem) "2000-words" may seem like any regular varsity essay benchmark; but I beg to differ when this report is meant to support my Design Practice module i.e. e practical aspect, major Design-project for e Diploma Grad-show.

While the burden of an unresolved(more like unconceived!) idea lay heavy on my mind, I decided to follow my gut and headed for the mini food-court in the basement-level. I was grumbling to myself(think irritated Mr.Bean) about how the different dishes being hawked didn't appeal to my picky(unusual, but apparently so on this ocassion) tastebuds... Then I remembered there were more food stalls outside this air-con food-court. I stepped out into the al fresco dining area and found a stall bearing a signboard with tempting food-photos; enlarged so that one's tongue would involuntarily salivate while his eyes and brain were at odds as to which dish deserved more attention drooling over.

Partly out of curiousity and chance, I chose Curry Chicken Noodle.

Fantastic. Spicy. Shiok!
Borrowing from The Sims2 game-jargon, I would say that having that wide bowl of Curry Noodles raised my Aspirations Meter by a few levels; boosting my Culinary Experience Points(not sure if there is such a thing in e game :p) by the thousands and leveling-up my Sim in the process!
After I gobbled up the noodles, I even ordered an extra bowl of rice to further savour the remaining curry with. That was how yummy it was! The stall-helper even handed me a few serviettes when he noticed me perspiring from the flavourful potent dish!

This is one of those days when a nice meal makes me delightfully-fulfilled for the day
*burp* Oops! :-D :-D :-D

******
Another childhood love














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Back in school, I was scheduled to meet up with Mr. NH -- whom I had ordered a band-music album from. He owns and runs Light Music People, a local distributor of imported band-music under the European-based "Hafabra" and "Jive Music" collections. I was referred to him by another local band-music importer/retailer called Classical Music Collections (CMC).

The 2CD album was hand-delivered to me at my school's carpark where Mr. NH had driven to. I was pleasantly surprised that the 2CD album cost only S$23 because it was a promotional release in celebration of Hafabra Music's 10th anniversary! (^^)
You can find that special album "Decennium" here: Hafabra Music Catalogue. The album is listed as Vol.14 in the Catalogue. When you preview each album and select a song, a MP3 soundbite is provided for sampling!
If you'd like to listen, here are two of my favourites from Decennium Disc2:
Romantic Ceremonial
Take A Walk


Mr.NH's friendly disposition and unhurried gestures prompted me to initiate more conversation; for I felt that it was only polite to do so since he's taken the trouble to come all the way. He told me he had a home delivery to make somewhere nearby and so, could conveniently drop by LaSalleSIA along the way. Also, he has been to LaSalleSIA before; with his Singapore Wind Symphony(SWS) band-mates. (Probably to conduct music workshops I thought) He's not playing with the SWS already but earns his keep mainly by teaching clarinet in several schools and looking after his band-music business. Eventually, when I told him about my band-music background, I found out that he knows my conductors(Mr.&Mrs.Chua) from AHBand too! (Both Mr.&Mrs.Chua used to play with the SWS too) In fact, He was going to travel with MrsChua to Bangkok the following day & conduct a University band there!

Ah, I can still remember her firm but expressive style of conducting in those days when I was sitting in the second row of the Woodwind section with my Tsx in hand. Under the husband&wife conducting-duo, I received one of the best band-music education due to their two distinct styles of conducting. Mrs Chua's had more restraint but always managed to draw out the deepest emotions; coaxing a moving, lyrical sound from our band. Mr Chua's demanded more free-flowing expression, preferring us to sound outwardly-confident and flexible.

Before we parted, I thanked Mr.NH and asked him to give Mrs.Chua my well-wishes. He reminded me that she has a good memory and would probably recall her old student(graduated 6yrs+ ago now!). And so the music goes on~!

After the telephone-men got too old to climb

Quiet Ideation

New Year's Eve at Marina Bay ***
Where, oh where art thou;
My imagination's cow?
Grazed in pure pastures;
Yet no milk hath thou now.
***

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
Psalms 23:1

Towards 2006 (update1)

Ah, what better way to start the new year's eve than to feel accomplished after having some spring cleaning done~ (Okay, not the most exciting way to party, i know "-.-)
Oh well, though the job's not 100% done yet, i'm glad that at least there aren't piles of waiting-to-be-sorted-out stuff lying on the floor now.. *phew*

Oh, and i think i'll do some revision to this space's design in the weeks to come(i'm going to have some Web Design modules this sem!) (^^).. that is if i have spare time for tt! (o.0)
For now, i've taken away tt "profile-poem" from here since it can be found in my Friendster profile anyway..

Another thing, i'll be updating more stuff, expanding this very post in the next few days so that i won't confuse you with a rojak-posts of 2005-recollections and 2006-resolution =p

I hope 2006 will be better than last year for you all! :D

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7th Jan 2006
In the past month+, I rendered my service as part of the backstage crew in COOS' Christmas musical, The Other Wiseman.
I rolled-up my sleeves for several days each week to work with the small crew of "servant-hearted" youths. The initial weeks were spent working on props and putting together the stage proper. Towards early Dec, we had almost completed all required props and the performers(cast, choir & dancers) started on-stage rehearsals. Soon after mid Dec, we had rehearsals almost every other evening, which we had to attend so as to be well-prepared for the actual 4 showtimes. Into the last few days before the 1st evening show, the crew was roped-in to help complete some costume-making; more specifically, the finer touches to the Magi costumes, and of course, their exaggerated, opulent head-gear!
Eventually, the 4 well-received shows ran smoothly overall; with but a few minor glitches.

Of special mention:
1. Before most of the rehearsals and actual-shows, all the people involved would come together and pray. As bowed heads and closed eyes surrounded the stage, we were blessed with prayer by people from the various 'departments' involved in the musical. An actor verbalised his thoughts on the potential of this production to touch people's hearts before praying for the directors and producers who would shape the final "look" of the whole musical. Another related a personal experience of how he was deeply moved by the choreography of one of the Dance-Ministry's performance he saw several years ago. He went on to pray for all the dancers who would be performing. And someone prayed for the production team/backstage crew even! Everyone involved was prayed for. That, I thought, was really special. Different prayers concerning different aspects of the production, but they always ended by "lifting the production to God, for the glory of His name".

2. On the whole, I gained valuable insights into theatre production and learnt numerous craft techniques. Also, I got a lunch treat at NYDC and X'mas presents from several people involved in the musical too! I felt really blessed with their generousity though I felt awkward too; at not having prepared any gift for them. Then, I recalled how in TOWM-musical, Artaban didn't have any gift as tribute to the King of Kings when he finally found Him. And I realised that it wasn't the actual material gift that mattered, but rather the heart behind it! They(gift-givers) probably spent a good part of their free-time off rehearsals to put together something to bless me with. These gifts, big or small, I shall appreciate the same because they were given in remembrance of He who gave His only Son! So, more importantly, as I look back at my first attempt at serving God and His people, I find myself being rewarded with newfound friendships that are immeasurable by manhours or paychecks.

******

Whilst busy with TOWM-musical commitments, I missed two X'mas dinners! One was oraganised by my cell while the other was by my long-time(AHS-days) "Chi-Ching-brothers"(now with the addition of a few sisters=).

Initially, I felt disappointed at not being able to share in whatever merry-making they had. But when I thought again about the significance of this work-His work!, this musical as an offering to the Lord, any ill thoughts were quelled by a deep-set truth:His everlasting love and grace; within my heart. I recalled my walk with God thus far and realised that my time was nothing compared to the mercy and grace He has shown me.

On the night of the 2nd dinner (w brothers), I sent a msg of cheer to my sorely-missed buddies and received many affirming replies that showed their understanding and support for what I was doing~ Then recently, I received some nice lil' present and card that I was to have received during the dinner with the Cell I missed.

Ah, my thoughts were with them despite my physical absence~ Thank God for such people in my life! :D

******

Forgiveness and letting go

Once, I fell into darkness; but your shining-light picked me up.
When I withheld the facts, your frankness left no stone untouched.

Then, I confessed the truth & you bore my guilt with disdain.
To be truly commited was to come to terms & bear some pain.

Like what He did so long ago, we believe and are changed
I had faith, that you would come to accept things from my past some day

Now I know: He took away my shame
so that we would do the same

******

It was really bad-timing.
She was having her exams really soon and
I was into my final month of project-refining and assessment.
Then again, there was never going to be a good time to hear the things I said.
It wasn't the sort of thing I'd normally tell anyone.. let alone someone so dear...

After doing so,
I prayed for God's mercy and healing to be unto her..
for I could only bank on Him to help ease the pain..
Where trust was shaken,
I prayed that my true intentions would surface amidst
the initial ugly truth...
And I prayed against the cruel irony of this "truth" "betraying" her..

Though I knew we both didn't get enough sleep, I had to see how she was doing.
So, that Sunday morning became the first meal we had together at her home.
Had some time to chat with her folks too. Really nice.
Unfortunately, I couldn't put myself
totally at ease knowing that the cold hard facts were probably still tormenting her soul;
beneath her calm, quiet mood.

And after several days of emotional-cliffhanging, we got together to work-out the issue at hand. I'm sure it took a lot of emotional strength and faith for her. She told me she finally understood what it meant to forgive someone; attributed her "healing" to how we ought to show Christ-like love to one another, on account of His name. Reasoning also that she did not want to be a "stumbling block" in my still-early Christian walk almost brought me to tears.
It felt like I was delivered again.

We prayed for "us" and I had a sense that God had heard my prayers.

Thank God it become another milestone in our new life together.
I shall remember how His grace was ministered to me through my Love.