Love, Actually hor

Deep bass-guitar, synthesizers, bongos and maracas provide a backdrop of a lovely Caribbean sunset.. before a sultry voice croons "I can't believe... You're a dream coming true... I can't believe... That I've fallen for you..." and piano & saxophone riffs add the icing to her creamy vocals... *"Fallen" by Lauren Wood*

Have you ever felt your heart acheing? Particularly, an intense longing for someone?
When you felt that way, you probably asked yourself: "Could this be Love? Am I in Love with..."

Love. Another one of life's mysteries.

******
I recently stepped into a Christian Book/Gift Shop out of curiousity... thinking I might be able to get something useful to guide me along my new walk of faith. In the store, they had set up a small TV up in one corner, with a video recording of some seminar being played-back.
Frankly speaking, I wasn't paying much attention to the "pastorly" voices coming from the video as I was browsing the books on offer.

However, something did catch my attention. A middle-aged-sounding voice proposed an analogy to do with maintaining marriages : "Marriage is like opening a joint-savings account("of emotions", I'd add) with your spouse."

The speaker went on to add:
"Everytime you tell your husband/wife little words of love or spend romantic-time together, you make a deposit into your savings account. Everytime you have a fight and get upset with each other, you make a withdrawal from that account. So the more you contribute to this savings account, the healthier your marriage will be"

Well, that was at least what I remembered and/or rephrased. So, not only does making a "withdrawal" not translate into spending-credits, it also damages your personal well-being(s).(not to mention the kids' too!) Though we can't actually spend these "savings", we only need to contribute a little a day for it to grow substantially overtime. This is possibly one of the best places to "invest" in because of the win-win situation & infinite "returns" overtime.

Okay, end of "financial" advice. ;-) But seriously, it's certainly a concept applicable to almost any aspect of life; be it attaining our life-goals or pursuing the love-of-our-life.

******

(Warning to love-cynics and skeptics, "Cliches ahead")
Since you might ask how it feels like, this is what goes through:

I wake up thinking of you. I turn to smile at "you". But all I have is your picture by the bedside. Ah... How I'd make you some breakfast if you were around..

The morning sunshine greeting me reminds me of your smiling face. Another day to work, a day closer to when we might embrace.

The day's barely halfway, and I wonder if you're doing fine. "Had yourself a nice breakfast(or brunch) already?" I'd ask, when I suspect you've gotten too busy to remember "meal-time".

By afternoon I'm thinking, how best to throw surprises - that won't squeeze your schedule tighter but still make your day brighter!

And when the day seems to get stuck at Tea
I have only to receive a msg from you; & my eyes light-up with glee;
and "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel" starts playing automatically! :D

By evening-time, you've got your school-hours & I picture you
tinkling or tabulating away.. wonder if you've brought a jacket
to keep the chills at bay..

And even after our "Good night(s)",
I can't sleep till I know you're safely tucked in.

Otherwise, I pray you'll complete your late-night-task soon.
Looking wistfully at the bedside-picture, i drift off feeling over-the-moon~

******
Aye, all that might not have been the anticipated-reply to some insightful relationship-related blogposts that I've came across recently. ;-) But, this'll have to suffice while I think on the uncovered-topics further~!

Hallelujah

Some time ago, I got this gift from Jo's cell-mates over one post-service dinner (was actually a prize that the cell won from taking part in a Bible-Quiz) It wasn't my birthday or anything, but since the prize couldn't possibly be split amongst cell, they decided to give it to me (being a "guest" of sorts then.. hee) It was a porcelain-mug upon which a verse was printed on; in large friendly fonts, that read:

" You did not choose Me, but I chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit -
fruit that will last. Then the Father
will give whatever you ask for in My name. " John 15:16

I thought: Was that a prelude for greater-things to come?


******

A little side-topic:
Give those who you feel deserving a word of thanks. Acknowledge their efforts; because it reassures them. Shows your appreciation sincerely, for wholehearted-expressions beget love. We were not born to read one another's minds(literally-speaking), so speak we must~! But always, use your tongue wisely and let encouraging words leave your lips; as much as possible.
Gratitude.
Have you got your dose today? ;-)

******

Today's topic:
In all unlikelihood and un-Weirong-like actions, I did something quite unusual today. Went out for dinner with a person I barely knew: a cell-group leader from church. But, it proved to be a thoroughly meaningful experience eventually. We chatted over dinner about general affairs and of course some words about the faith; before moving-on to a more chat-friendly environment. & Pacific Coffee House with its plush red armchairs offered that.

"So what's holding you back?", KL asked.
"Well..." I paused a moment before adding on, "Apart from a few uncertainties about what a Godly-life encompasses, I think there's nothing else really".
I continued to elaborate as KL promptly clarified my concerns.
*phone-beeps*

******

"Did you know that one who behaves self-righteously is in God's eyes, but a piece of dirty-rag?" KL stated gravely and continued: "No one should tell God what he deserves to receive from Him; for no human-being can equal the goodness of God's love for us."

At that moment, his statement sparked a thought in my consciousness. I remembered I once held a belief that if I portrayed myself well in the eyes of others and served their needs, I was pleasing God(back then: unknown, nameless to me). Truthfully, I was even secretly revelling in my "status" as "Pope" to my bunch of closest friends. All that "glory" for nothing particularly "holy" or "Godly" that I did. Self-righteousness? Yes, upon retrospection.. oh yes.. that was me then.. part of the growing-up-phase where one finds his place-in-the-world and sense-of-belonging I guess. I confess my sin to you all now~ (-.-)

******

We left the comfy bistro for a quieter place. Outside, the air seemed cooler than usual(in the city-area especially), seemingly to welcome us into the night.

We settled at the foot of a long flight of steps that led toward Marina Square. (Quite symbolic actually, to think that this is where one starts "climbing-up")

I thought: "Alright, this is it."
I closed my eyes and was led through the Sinner's Prayer after which KL added-on his prayer for me. In a few minutes, "Amen".

I peeled-open my eyes to see the night-time city-scene just as before.
There wasn't any overwhelming feeling that came; but I felt a little spark inside ignited, a re-awakened sense of spirit, a spiritual-renewal! :) (Myb I should confess my sins more often to continuously feel this good) But seriously, I will have to devote time in the Word and prayer and etc.. to build upon that first step.

I remember KL said, "All you need, is to have a 'child-like' faith in God" "This is how we all begin our relationship with the Lord - with Faith"

Here is where I start "learning to walk again", i thought; "like a child led by his Father."

******

Now, a flashback to the *phone beep* up there^:
I was still deep-in-conversation w KL & I didn't check it till much later. The sms was a reply to a matter concerning school. But, surprisingly, that sms was amzingly-appropriate as a response to my reply to KL's question~! Excerpt of the sms: "... Thank God for that... Now's the time to complete it... " I was stunned at that "coincidence"... but as God's child, I shall say instead, that it was God (divinely intervening &) showing his love~!

******

Thank you, Lord God, for the blessings in my life; & for planting the seed of your love in all who are dear to me. From this day forth, I proclaim Jesus Christ as my Personal Saviour; and hold steadfast Your promises and purposes in my life; and yearn to grow more&more like Him. Amen.

:0)
Dear Brothers and Sisters, when I am more learned, I will share the good-news will you too~
God bless you all~

Brother Samuel

Flashback :

13th Jan 2001
ChiChing Utd's New Signing

Samuel Lim Liang aka "Jimmy" receives his club-shirt finally after leaving the Anglican Fields for Texas 1 year+ (as at the time of this event) ago. Physio-cum-Manager-cum-Centreback Daniel welcomes him home "officially" in this presentation-ceremony~
(P.S. This was actually Brother Zhiwei's 18th B'day.. an event which was attended by 17 in all; we had to open 4 tables up just to squeeze ourselves and the BBQ-steamboat-buffet dinner!)


******
I dialled the numbers. The person on the other end answered.
The deep voice was sounded strangely familiar and novel at the same time. Over the phone, his "not-especially-jolly-sounding"(myb even tersely) spoken "Hello" belies a warm, easy-going and humorous character. :p He's still just as laid-back in person as before.

I travel down the escalotor and saw a familiar face that smiled just frm the eatery a few paces away. Heh, he still looks the same. Maybe more formally dressed only, heh heh. His sister, her husband, & husband's parents were there with him; together with a little bundle of joy~!

Samuel: "Heh, I'm called 'Uncle Sam' now.." "Meet my niece, Esther~"
*3mth-old-chubby-looking-face-looks-around-everywhere-in-self-absorbed-manner*
WR: *smile* "Awww..."

******

WR: How've you been all this time?
S: "Been doing really good"
"Look" *proceeds to pinch a palmful along his tummy*
Both: *chuckle*
WR: "boy, when was the last time we met up?"
S: "Think it was some dinner; or somewhere maybe at Melvin's place"
WR: "Thought you came back once when we were still in the Army?"
S: "No, I think you all weren't in Army yet"
WR: "It seems like not long ago since you left"
S: "I've been in U.S. for 5 & a half years already eh~"
WR: "Oh yea.. you left straight after AHS~!"

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updates about our Brothers, general happenings in SG, etc..
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WR: "What made you decide to join the Bible School?"
S: "I've known these group of people who attend this school for a very long time already." "Since I was a kid even. I've always been a Christian although sometimes I don't go to Church; and never once thought about enrolling in Bible school~! But when I was in U.S, there was a group of fellow Christian students who I got to know, and regularly met-up with. In those sessions we got to hear each-others' personal experiences with the Lord. After some time, it softened my heart. There are times when I think about some good things that have happened in my life, I think they happen for a reason: Wow. God is really working in my life!
I let my parents know, spoke with my Sis(s) abt it too; and they were all ok with it. And so now the church, I was attending, is sponsoring my 2-yr course in Bible School. I kinda' like a 'missionary' now; heh heh.. So far, what I've learnt has been very meaningful and I'm really lucky that everything has been provided-for."
WR: "Wow. That's great. I'm really happy to hear all this"
S: "Yeah. Life's been great really~"

******

The flight beckoned.
We left the eatery to proceed to the Departure Hall at a leisurely pace.
Samuel takes this opportunity to carry Esther about along the way. His aunt-in-law mentioned: "By the time you come back, she'll be able to speak with you already~" :)

Then, once more, his family bade him their warmest farewell; with a hug from his sis too.
S: "See you in maybe 2 years"
WR: "Take care man~"
*wistful sigh*

Runaway Train

School design projects are managing my life now; threatening to turn me into an insomniac. The feeling now is akin to riding a steam-powered locomotive.. on creaky, old tracks that give you the feeling that your choochoo would derail any moment; built over a trecherous mountian/ravine terrain.. And even if it manages to keep on-track, I am suspecting where I will finally end up.. For this train has lost it's brakes~! Still, I've to keep feeding the coals into the furnace; or risk stopping along the old-tracks (over a ravine) that might give-way and leave me freefalling.
*gulp* (o.0)
Right. I must remain in control -.-"
I'll work it hard to take it as far as it can safely go~!
*shovels coke into hungry-engine*

******
1 week ago, the service I attended was closed with a mass-healing prayer-session. When the congregation was dismissed, a very special song was played. It was the only other familiar tune I could remember from AHS-Wednesday-Assembly days... Another memory-reel revisited and I was compelled to sit myself down. To soak-in the good ol' song and reflect on its significance once again.

So here it is.. (Brothers, I'm sure some of you all must find this familiar.(since so many of those songs on Wed-assembly were in Mandarin~!!))

"God Will Make A Way"
A:
Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way.....
He will make a way

B:
By a roadway in the wilderess
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today

Repeat: A

******
I might beeee "gone" for quite a long time, but will try to update this space to show y'all I'm still pretty much alive and well (or rather "hanging-on-for-dear-life" hoho) :p
Later~

Contentment

Happy 47th Birthday, Mom~!
(oops, did I just reveal your age?..er, let's hope i rem wrong & added more years to it.. :))

got my Mom a pair of leather slippers from Leather Ark; Bugis Junction... I told her she needed some nicer footwear for casual-walking bcs she's been wearing this pair of maroon-sandals with slight heel (i dunno how else to call them?) for ages~! Plus, they were on offer, at a price I thought was reasonable for leatherware - $25 :D
We didn't get her a cake :< but we'll probably treat her to some place nice for dinner this weekend :D

******
" I've got plenty of nothing; and nothing plenty.
Got my Song... got Heaven all day long " - frm Porgy & Bess

******
Folks, I still can't count my blessings enough, for my life is abundant with more than just basic necessities now~! No, I've NOT struck Toto or won $1M in some lucky draw..

But what I do have, and hold dear to my heart, is really having meaningful human-relationships in my life~! I've got a loving family, a soccer-team's worth of Brothers & also someone special to keep in-mind. But alonside(or beyond?) these worldly blessings, I long to see God - the Father who has provided & wonderfully-enriched my life.

A friend said to me, "We're not getting any younger already"... As the years roll by, we may get too caught up with working our lives to fit our ideal futures; such that we lose a sense of child-like wonder and youthfulness that once allowed us to enjoy the simple things in life. Some of us had void-deck soccer(played w plastic-ball) kakis, whilst others were content just doodling with oil-pastels or flinging five-stones . And then as we grew up, some started wanting more "toys" to entertain themselves with - Nintendo & Sega consoles... and soon after, Playstations and Sega Saturns.. And when we're thrust into adulthood, although we've learnt how money works... we sometimes still crave for more gadgetry or luxury! There will never be enough to satisfy our already sophisticated lives... So think about it; whether something will actully make you happier before splurging on it.

Folks, I'm not asking you all to give up your 5Cs-dream, or go enrol yourselves in monestaries and live a religious, frugal life. My point to you all is that, do not fret over what you do not posess... Aim and achieve yes; but be content with what is already on hand, and feel blessed that you are not disabled or afflicted in anyway to enjoy life's basics. I heard a pastor say this recently, "Live simply, but don't simply live." I thought that was a piece of simple yet meaningful advice. So, if you just try counting your blessings; accounting for even the tiniest of tidings, you might come to realise how wealthy you already are~! :D


******
Now for a song:

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15… there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15…there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live…

That was an excerpt only; full lyrics here :)

Existence & Immortality

"Existence is how you remain in others' Hearts & Minds"
WJ: this was something I read from your Messenger "personal msg" some time back..

When I reflect on it, I think that has some profound meaning within. I think WJ meant "existence" to encompass not just a"state-of-being-alive-&-of-consciousness" but at the same time, "a-state-of-being-where-one-feels-a-sense-of-belonging"...

Take for instance, if one's only aim in live is to merely survive, he might choose to live alone. Like a hermit; in solitude, depending solely on himself and shunning human contact. This would be an extreme case of social-exile; but it illustrates the point of being "non-existent"- where even in death, no one is aware to mourn the passing. One's existence would be sadly pass-by unrecorded ... be rendered "negligible" even!,

On the other end of the spectrum, if one chooses to live a life where he abundantly-invests his time in things that involve the rest of humankind, he can be assured of perpetuating his name, the part of his worldly-existence that extends even after his body goes 6ft-under or is scattered as ashes. One must have a sense of belonging to his people(to even want to have anything to do with them), to even be compassionate in the 1st place, before being given any honour, let alone that of "perpetual-existence". However, the things that could grant one such "existence" could be far from good as well... i.e. Hitler's notoriety is associated with his ethnic-cleansing & war-mongering ways...

To infer further, existence beyond one's last breath; lies within others' hearts & minds. Such existence can even be considered as "immortality"~! If you think about all the history-makers the world has ever known, they are survived by their accomplishments or contributions; that have shaped the course of history as we know it today! Will expand on this topic at a less unearthly hour in future..
until then... "WR Out"~!

******
P.S. TagBoard has gone Kaput~! Their web-site seems to have crashed.. So for now,(myb in future) do use the newly-installed Chatterbox here~! :D