Saturday, December 31, 2005

Towards 2006 (update1)

Ah, what better way to start the new year's eve than to feel accomplished after having some spring cleaning done~ (Okay, not the most exciting way to party, i know "-.-)
Oh well, though the job's not 100% done yet, i'm glad that at least there aren't piles of waiting-to-be-sorted-out stuff lying on the floor now.. *phew*

Oh, and i think i'll do some revision to this space's design in the weeks to come(i'm going to have some Web Design modules this sem!) (^^).. that is if i have spare time for tt! (o.0)
For now, i've taken away tt "profile-poem" from here since it can be found in my Friendster profile anyway..

Another thing, i'll be updating more stuff, expanding this very post in the next few days so that i won't confuse you with a rojak-posts of 2005-recollections and 2006-resolution =p

I hope 2006 will be better than last year for you all! :D

******

7th Jan 2006
In the past month+, I rendered my service as part of the backstage crew in
COOS' Christmas musical, The Other Wiseman.
I rolled-up my sleeves for several days each week to work with the small crew of "servant-hearted" youths
. The initial weeks were spent working on props and putting together the stage proper. Towards early Dec, we had almost completed all required props and the performers(cast, choir & dancers) started on-stage rehearsals. Soon after mid Dec, we had rehearsals almost every other evening, which we had to attend so as to be well-prepared for the actual 4 showtimes. Into the last few days before the 1st evening show, the crew was roped-in to help complete some costume-making; more specifically, the finer touches to the Magi costumes, and of course, their exaggerated, opulent head-gear!
Eventually, the 4 well-received shows ran smoothly overall; with but a few minor glitches.

Of special mention:
1. Before most of the rehearsals and actual-shows, all the people involved would come together and pray. As bowed heads and closed eyes surrounded the stage, we were blessed with prayer by people from the various 'departments' involved in the musical. An actor verbalised his thoughts on the potential of this production to touch people's hearts before praying for the directors and producers who would shape the final "look" of the whole musical. Another related a personal experience of how he was deeply moved by the choreography of one of the Dance-Ministry's performance he saw several years ago. He went on to pray for all the dancers who would be performing. And someone prayed for the production team/backstage crew even! Everyone involved was prayed for. That, I thought, was really special. Different prayers concerning different aspects of the production, but they always ended by "lifting the production to God, for the glory of His name".

2. On the whole, I gained valuable insights into theatre production and learnt numerous craft techniques. Also, I got a lunch treat at NYDC and X'mas presents from several people involved in the musical too! I felt really blessed with their generousity though I felt awkward too; at not having prepared any gift for them. Then, I recalled how in TOWM-musical, Artaban didn't have any gift as tribute to the King of Kings when he finally found Him. And I realised that it wasn't the actual material gift that mattered, but rather the heart behind it! They(gift-givers) probably spent a good part of their free-time off rehearsals to put together something to bless me with. These gifts, big or small, I shall appreciate the same because they were given in remembrance of He who gave His only Son! So, more importantly, as I look back at my first attempt at serving God and His people, I find myself being rewarded with newfound friendships that are immeasurable by manhours or paychecks.

******

Whilst busy with TOWM-musical commitments, I missed two X'mas dinners! One was oraganised by my cell while the other was by my long-time(AHS-days) "Chi-Ching-brothers"(now with the addition of a few sisters=).

Initially, I felt disappointed at not being able to share in whatever merry-making they had. But when I thought again about the significance of this work-His work!, this musical as an offering to the Lord, any ill thoughts were quelled by a deep-set truth:His everlasting love and grace; within my heart. I recalled my walk with God thus far and realised that my time was nothing compared to the mercy and grace He has shown me.

On the night of the 2nd dinner (w brothers), I sent a msg of cheer to my sorely-missed buddies and received many affirming replies that showed their understanding and support for what I was doing~ Then recently, I received some nice lil' present and card that I was to have received during the dinner with the Cell I missed.

Ah, my thoughts were with them despite my physical absence~ Thank God for such people in my life! :D

******

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Forgiveness and letting go

Once, I fell into darkness; but your shining-light picked me up.
When I withheld the facts, your frankness left no stone untouched.

Then, I confessed the truth & you bore my guilt with disdain.
To be truly commited was to come to terms & bear some pain.

Like what He did so long ago, we believe and are changed
I had faith, that you would come to accept things from my past some day

Now I know: He took away my shame
so that we would do the same

******

It was really bad-timing.
She was having her exams really soon and
I was into my final month of project-refining and assessment.
Then again, there was never going to be a good time to hear the things I said.
It wasn't the sort of thing I'd normally tell anyone.. let alone someone so dear...

After doing so,
I prayed for God's mercy and healing to be unto her..
for I could only bank on Him to help ease the pain..
Where trust was shaken,
I prayed that my true intentions would surface amidst
the initial ugly truth...
And I prayed against the cruel irony of this "truth" "betraying" her..

Though I knew we both didn't get enough sleep, I had to see how she was doing.
So, that Sunday morning became the first meal we had together at her home.
Had some time to chat with her folks too. Really nice.
Unfortunately, I couldn't put myself
totally at ease knowing that the cold hard facts were probably still tormenting her soul;
beneath her calm, quiet mood.

And after several days of emotional-cliffhanging, we got together to work-out the issue at hand. I'm sure it took a lot of emotional strength and faith for her. She told me she finally understood what it meant to forgive someone; attributed her "healing" to how we ought to show Christ-like love to one another, on account of His name. Reasoning also that she did not want to be a "stumbling block" in my still-early Christian walk almost brought me to tears.
It felt like I was delivered again.

We prayed for "us" and I had a sense that God had heard my prayers.

Thank God it become another milestone in our new life together.
I shall remember how His grace was ministered to me through my Love.