Bugle call

The first week's almost gone...
At the start, the Commanding Officer welcomed the troops back to the battlefield.
Amidst the excitement expressed by fellow comrades, I was feeling rather neutral to it all. I just made myself comfortable in my front-row seat. The C.O. conducted the campaign-briefing with an air of confidence; promising a tough, demanding fight to expect ahead.

Eye-balling the gestures of the C.O. and the 2nd-in-Command, I felt an unspoken sense of concern for subtler issues. Nothing to do with blue-force casualties or our unit's depleting war-chest. Perhaps what I felt was the temptation of fear. The fear that makes a soldier rooted to the trench-line; when the realisation of being formed-up for a (suicidal) charge sets in.
I dismissed the thought. There was no turning back now anyway.

What my hardened-spirit needs most and sorely misses is courage.
A boldness which led me to transfer out of the "safety" of my previous posting.
That firm resolution that here, was where, there was much more for me.
Guts; worthy of & fitting for my final tour of duty.

Reality never sets in safely the way you expect. Its whistles from afar, incresingly deafening before shrapnel and energy-waves scatter your battle-formation. It demands you re-group, re-supp and press-on toward your objective.

Perhaps the C.O. wasn't casting a condesending eye like my cynical-side guessed. Perhaps I was being spared the C.O.'s disappointed look-in-the-eye. A consolation for morale's sake. An offer of withdrawal in the knowledge of imminent disaster. Maybe the unit wonders if I am fighting for a lost cause too. I beg to differ.

The enemy's not won. The battle's just begun.
By faith, I prepare to embrace this war; transcending weariness, even mortality.
This war, I surrender only to One.