August Rush

My period of waiting is coming to a close.

The applications I sent out have returned with definite outcomes. No more (scheduled for this year) Jedi Masters apprenticeship for the particular discipline I applied for. Also found out from a self-initiated email enquiry to Imaginary Friends Studio that they were currently not hiring any illustrators.

DigiPen Institute of Technology Singapore sent me a registration package with a letter of offer for the Bachelor of Fine Arts in Production Animation program I enrolled for. I was pleasantly surprised as it took them only two days to process and respond to my application. Wonder if it's because there aren't many applicants for the new school's courses. (DigiPen U.S. has been around for years though) Still, thank God for planting His wisdom into helping me decide on which of my previous artworks to include in the portfolio submitted for the application. Thank God for His favour; that the DigiPen staff have given me very positive feedback and offered me a place so promptly!

I've since submitted my registration package to book my place for the Fall Semester beginning 1st Sept 2008. Meanwhile, a Sketchbook Assignment has been set for those who've been accepted into the Production Animation program. Have one textbook and workbook to read/complete. And also, a new sketchbook to fill up with practice-drawings. Lots of it. (o.O)
Once I go pay up my tuition for the 1st Semester, I'll be commiting the next four years to the BFA. Though I'm in a hurry to complete it, I hope to savour every learning experience this imminent academic journey has to offer.

******

In other attempts to go the distance, I recently got myself "new" running gear - a pair of shoes and a heart rate monitor(HRM). Both were acquired at discounted prices(+/- 50%-off suggested retail price) as they were bought 2nd hand. Shoes were brand new and only worn once(to test for fit) by the seller who originally bought them online but realised they were too large for him when he actually tried them on. The HRM was in ownership for about 2years but seldom utilised and in decent condition(albeit expired warranty). I had the good fortune of having chanced upon the shoe-deal in an internet forum-posting while KL forwarded me the seller's contact no. for the HRM.

In the process of completing the transactions, I went to meet the sellers in person; on separate occasions, to inspect the products. Got to know a little more about them and received advice on training as we shared our background and sporting-experience too. They were both of amicable disposition and really generous in their pricing! Thank God for this blessing that certainly supports my fitness goals with manageable impact on my finances!

Thoughts through Christmas

Why did the crucial questions fail to sound-off?
Was the fear of disrupting joyous reminiscence by injecting a bit of religiousity so great?
Or was it just an inner dread; a refusal toward being type-cast(to a namesake) that kept my lips open; but inarticulate.

Why do I not sense that urgency from God's children within? Is it just me thinking too idealistically? Or is there something I've been called-to that's causing me this distress.
Yet I know not how else to shepherd a worldly people except to continue being their friend.
My heart glows at a friend's mention of his parent's involvement with ministry. And it lights up with the mention that that was his old church. But I faltered in my thoughts and missed the invitation-opportunity at the turn of the topic. Forgive me.

Overwhelming...
Pent feelings and scary thoughts manifest themselves
when you're at your lowest of moods.
Then you long for the Encourager's hand to cover you,
to comfort and hide you from what lurks in the worldly woods.
But it gets difficult when things aren't as tangible
as your senses can perceive. It is then we must
continue to give-praise in spite of circumstances;
prevail in the face of steepness;
persistantly worship with all our being.

He never rejects a humbled, broken spirit.
We need not dwell too long in brokeness before
His Spirit reminds us of the miracle of salvation we
already received.

Love never fails.
Still, I need to know.
Purpose. Place.
Is this the yoke I should bear?

Lord,
I pray;
reveal Your will,
speak Your mind;
for your servant waits.

365 Days Crossed

A back dated post...
17th August 2006
Now that I'm a year-old Christian, I look back and see how things have changed...
It may appear that no significnt changes have occured, but I can attest to the great work
that Christ has done with my inner being.

Not that all my days since were sunny and with glee.
Not that there there were no more heart-breaks and bouts of self-doubt.

******

8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NIV)

******
During the times when I was feeling down,
I would be comforted after reading an encouraging verse or two and telling Jesus
my troubles though prayer.

When things were going my way and I was feeling confident about things,
I'd be reminded by verses that spoke of humility and prompt me to give thanks
to my Provider.

And when troubles arose in relationships with people around me,
the Healer has shown Himself to comfort sorrowful hearts and
work even in pre-believers whom I know have been kept in prayer.

I may not have had distinctly supernatural encounters with the Spirit yet,
but so far, the way that events fall into place with impromptu activities fitting nicely into schedules; makes me think of the Planner's thoughtfulness and smile.

Only on one occassion did I feel the Spirit manifest itself in my being...

During the ministry-time of the BMC* I attended back in March, I was praying amidst fellow
BMC brothers and sisters for the Father's touch. And at some point in time, my
arms and chin, which were raised toward the ceiling, started trembling and became warm.
An experience unlike any other that I did not even know what was going on. But it felt as if
a pair of hands was gently embracing my cheeks. Tears and tongues spontaneously followed.

******

"12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ----------------------- Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV)

******
Because I wasn't free earlier in the week, a telephone-meeting was arranged tonight between me and a fellow cell-mate. The conversation that followed entailed possible roles that I might have to be prepared to fulfill within the cell. With the eventual departure of several cell-mates who'd also graduated from University recently, I see myself parting with the old-mates and welcoming new ones who are just beginning their varsity life.

New ventures on the stroke of a year? I do feel an uncertainty about my state of preparedness, but cell-mate reassured me that "a heart that is willing to be used by Him will be equipped" and that "God values His children's obedience".

And so now I'm learning to cultivate a submissive spirit - in the context of doing God's work.
And as I see the growing necessity of filling-in those cell-functions, I can only start praying that my limited knowledge of the Word and people-skills will be put to His use; entrusting the ministry to His miracle-able hands. Amen.

******
*BMC : Baptism & Membership Class

Complete

Port Dickson 25 March 2006

I sometimes wonder:
If one achieves all that he has set out to do in life, what else is there for him to live for?
Would he strive to leave behind a legacy of his own? Or would he attempt to lead a totally different life; to try living life in someone else's shoes perhaps.

One thing I've noticed is that some people can indulge themselves in luxury all they want
but never find satisfaction. And there are those who work hard just to sustain their hedonistic pursuits. To some, the pub or disco has become a place of worship(of worldly pleasures)!
Yet at closing time, do all the revellers leave their favourite nightspots feeling like they had a great time? Would that kind of "high" sustain them or lift their spirits throughout the rest of their working-lives? Or would they sober-up one morning; after a hang-over, to find themselves still hungry for something more than any human-relationship or comfort foods can provide...

Here is a song that speaks to me so much about how God has worked in my life..
Have a listen here .

Complete
-------------------------------------------------------------
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You
-------------------------------------------------------------
Source: Willingdon Church (Burnaby, Canada) <--More worship-song downloads and resources available too~

I believe I stumbled upon it, not by chance, but by the awesome and mysterious ways of God. And His hand is always at work in our hearts, moulding us to be just like his Son; teaching us to love as He loved.

******

To those of you who think God is somewhere far away in the cosmos, know this:
His presence is everywhere. Whenever. Wherever.

In fact, at this very moment, His hand is gently knocking on the door of your heart.
Patiently waiting so that He may have even just a minute or two,
from your hecitc life, to spend with you.

He relishes the times when you call upon Him;
He's always been wanting to have a relationship with you.

When you get to know Him and trust in His plans to prosper you,
you won't be too puzzled about life anymore.

God enjoys putting the puzzle-pieces of our lives into place.
Even if you only find Him in the twilight years of your life,
the heavens will still rejoice!

No joy is there like finding oneself complete in Him.
With God, we're complete.

Race against the worldly...

I huffed...
and I puffed...
and almost spilled my lungs out!

Just came back from a run KL invited me to join in.
It was a weekly Thursday affair organised by RunningLab (a retail outlet at Funan Centre catering to every runner's needs!) and local running-enthusiast-group SG Runners.

***

Today, Nike Singapore came to offer some of their latest running-specific models for us to try out on the road. F.O.C. plus a range of about 4-5 different models catering to various persons feet-specifications; both for the ladies and men. That was one of the incentives for me personally. For you see, I have not been hitting the road/track/trail regularly enough. I knew that the 10km-route to be covered that evening was not to be taken lightly.

So I thought giving this a shot might help rekindle those athletic aspirations I once had :p
School(almost expectedly) schedule is the reason for this season of sedentry or "nua-ness" (btw I believe "nua" in Hokkien means: "liquify", also refers to "saliva", but used in my context it means to "slack-off physically".) These days, I only manage short jog/runs lasting no more than 30mins, roughly twice a week. That seems to be the bare minimum for maintaining some form of fitness that I once had during N.S. (Not fantastic but to me, it's a milestone already!)

And so we gathered at this wide open pavement, along the SG-river (opposite some nice-looking restaurants like Riciotti and Just Steak). There, the whole lot of about 40 runners were led through a comprehensive warm-up session. I found out from another fellow senior SG Runner that he appreciates the warm-up leader's efforts. "Very good stretching and best thing is that we don't need to sit on the ground too!" he quipped heartily.

***

We took off towards the Esplanade park, passing Clarke Quay, Empress Place(where the A.C.M is now, with VCH nearby), Cavenah and Anderson Bridge along the way. We make a right at the Esplande Bridge, taking the broad walkway beneath the bridge, and towards the Esplanade Theatre. Going past the numerous strolling couples and dinner crowds in the restaurants alongside, I couldn't help but wonder who was more envious of the two parties - I'd love to be having dinner just there and then but perhaps the diners were wishing they could have more exercise in their lives too. hoho...

At almost 2km, we "charge" into the coastal grounds known as Marina Promenade. As I passed beneath the Sheares bridge flyover, I felt a tinge of doubt; questioning whether I cound actually make it back on my own two feet, running!

Anyway, to spare you the excess commentry, at the 5km turning-point, Kallang MRT was no more than 200m away. As we made the U-turn, the sheer thought of having to cover that much distance back to finish was almost crippling,psychologically. This was mainly because of a growing ache in my lower abdomen that, up to this point, had been not subsiding at all. The other mind-block had to do with the memory of my freak lung puncture back in 2000.

Now, every stride I took was becoming shorter.I tried hard to regulate my breathing but the ache in the belly wouldn't go. KL called out to me as he noticed me lagging behind. I waved him forward, asking him to go on first since he still showed no signs of tiring. Then in a brotherly-gesture, he slowed down his pace to match mine, constantly urging me to keep going. I appreciated his timely encouragement and convinced myself that I was going to hang in there despite that tummy-cramp.

With his motivation, we made it back in about 53mins. That works out to be 5min18sec per km.
Later, we retrieved our bags from Running Lab, freshened-up and went to nearby Circular Road(i think) coffee-shop for dinner. Fellow SG runner commented over dinner that "today's pace offered a reasonably good workout". I certain agreed; recalling how I much better I felt after the finish - once I caught my breath and cooled down.

***

As I reflected on the run later...
I realised how it parallels one's walk with God.

The physical strains to keep oneself moving forwards is akin to the Bible-study and Quiet-time in the process of spiritual growth.
When fatigue sets in later in the run, words of encouragement are priceless towards helping one reach the finish-line. And likewise when various challenges threathen to dampen one's spiritual-life, there is nothing like being prayed for by fellow Brothers & Sisters; to affirm each other in Christ.

Patience is of upmost importance especially in long-distance runs.
A SG Runner commented, "Young people generally don't have the patience to run marathons. That's why you notice mainly middle-aged people participating in them. Bcs they have the patience to run 4-5hrs on the road". If one starts off too quick a pace than necessary, the irregular rhythm and cramps that results later nullifies any initial advantage gained.
And in our relationship with God, we should not be preoccupied with trying to make God tangible to us. Just as every relationship requires time and devotion, let us instead seek to build ours' based on the fundamental truth that "God loves us"; reciprocrating His love in earnest prayer, worship and ministry. With that, may we come to realise that God's been with us all this while.

***

Perhaps...
The race, of life, is in fact against oneself.
Search your heart. Only when you find the pace that works best for you; will you truly find contentment and enjoyment with every stride you take.

***

A Big "Thank You" to KL
-for it was he who helped me with my leap of faith .
6 months and counting now :)

"And let us consider how we may consider to spur one another on toward love and good deeds" Hebrews 10:24

Grounded Cupid

'Twas 300-odd days ago,
on the postman i rested my hope
The next evening we let words flow,
A light rekindled as she spoke

Reviving sentimentalities,
we casually delight
each-other's faint memories;
funny how our paths reunite

And so began the wooing
that looked to a future
There was sincere purpose
and heartfelt gesture

Then slowly came the issues,
that begged to be revealed
Was your trust misused,
and thus remorse congealed?

I prayed for healing,
you searched your heart
Lord heard our pleading;
forgiveness He'd impart

Yet that was all,
but surely lasting-bliss
Though He took our fall
still something was amiss

We had reserved ourselves
before the elders spoke
Though babes in Christ,
we were unequally yoked

Just about a fortnight ago,
we were ministered to
Hearing Godly advice though
there were dangers exposed too

And so we agreed
that we'd let the Lord show
If we fit indeed
pray He'd let us know

Although it's tough when our heart's all silenced
I will trust with all my spirit, in His steadfast asylum

To Know Him

I never knew Him by name.

******
The closest was back in Anglican High..
Back then, we had Bible class(in mandarin!) and Assembly(sing-a-long/worship-type). Having Civics&MoralEd. lessons conducted in Mandarin already was enough for me. Being preached to; in the language I was poor in, only served to put me off altogether. Maybe I wasn't receptive, or just plain ignorant. But what was I to do if I could go no farther than a few characters(only recognised some names like "John" or "Jesus") before stumping upon unfamiliar ones - yes, the Bible was printed in Mandarin, old-fashioned-multi-stroked-characters!! fan2 ti3 zi4!! So much for my 1st brush with Evangelists.

Those days, I never saw the need for religion. I only had my parents/teachers/friends/myself to answer to. Yet, I was no atheist. I had always acknowledged God's existence. (The One God I blogged abt in a previous post) This God, whom perhaps only I prayed to. I even borrowed a prayer from the pocket-Bible(that an uncle handed down to me) that goes something like:
"Our Father who is in Heaven, your name be kept holy; your kingdom come; your will be done on Earth, as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. Lead us; not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever."

After speaking the lines, I'd always ask God to bless my loved ones and resolve their difficult trials. Doing that was meaningful enough to me - enough to satisfy the inner-me spiritually. Somehow, after leaving Anglican, I never said those lines before bedtime anymore. (It is a wonder even to myself, that they were recently recalled with unusual ease!)

Check out AHS' Website!
okay, the link leads you to the school's core values page; where I will take the opportunity to give blessings to my Alma Mater and to ask: "Chiching Brothers, when was the last time we formed the Holy-Circle!?" :p

******
And then,
I walked through the big wooden doors into the hall. There were at least 150 people, mostly youths, inside. A good number of them formed neat rows at the stagefront. With a wide, raised stage, soft stagelights and many rows of flip-down cushioned seats, the place resembled a concert-hall. On the right-end of the stage, a 5-piece combo-band was playing some introductory tune with guitar-riffs. Upon the 2 empty wall-faces sandwiching the stagefront, were song-lyrics; projected keenly. I notice a small "control-centre" (probably the Soundbox?) of sorts near the back-row seats.
When the band and on-stage singers led the crowd into song, I couldn't help but feel like I had been trasported 7 years back in time, into a school hall Assembly in Anglican once more.

******
A windy night.
The scent of rain.
Words, took easy flight.
Knowing glances, sustained.
Then, I could only love with words,
Could not bring myself to touch..
But now, in spite of myself, I reached forth.

The Night quietened.
And a gentle stirring began from within:
A feeling that radiates warmly,
enveloping your being with unspeakable euphoria.
That sends your heart racing on a rainbow,
soaring to the clouds, the stars.. Utopia!

Pulled apart to return once more.
This gift I offer to you: Patience, reassured.

******
Now, for a song:
"Tender is the light/Lying by your side//Tender is the touch/Of someone that you love too much//Tender is the day/The demons go away//Lord I need to find/Someone who can heal my mind" - Tender by Blur