Bugle call

The first week's almost gone...
At the start, the Commanding Officer welcomed the troops back to the battlefield.
Amidst the excitement expressed by fellow comrades, I was feeling rather neutral to it all. I just made myself comfortable in my front-row seat. The C.O. conducted the campaign-briefing with an air of confidence; promising a tough, demanding fight to expect ahead.

Eye-balling the gestures of the C.O. and the 2nd-in-Command, I felt an unspoken sense of concern for subtler issues. Nothing to do with blue-force casualties or our unit's depleting war-chest. Perhaps what I felt was the temptation of fear. The fear that makes a soldier rooted to the trench-line; when the realisation of being formed-up for a (suicidal) charge sets in.
I dismissed the thought. There was no turning back now anyway.

What my hardened-spirit needs most and sorely misses is courage.
A boldness which led me to transfer out of the "safety" of my previous posting.
That firm resolution that here, was where, there was much more for me.
Guts; worthy of & fitting for my final tour of duty.

Reality never sets in safely the way you expect. Its whistles from afar, incresingly deafening before shrapnel and energy-waves scatter your battle-formation. It demands you re-group, re-supp and press-on toward your objective.

Perhaps the C.O. wasn't casting a condesending eye like my cynical-side guessed. Perhaps I was being spared the C.O.'s disappointed look-in-the-eye. A consolation for morale's sake. An offer of withdrawal in the knowledge of imminent disaster. Maybe the unit wonders if I am fighting for a lost cause too. I beg to differ.

The enemy's not won. The battle's just begun.
By faith, I prepare to embrace this war; transcending weariness, even mortality.
This war, I surrender only to One.

noise annoys

*drafted-earlier; backdated post*
A few months have passed since they cleared the grass-field I enjoyed gazing at from my window.
Despite it being the holiday-season, i find myself feeling irritated; getting annoyed at the on-going construction-work beside my estate.

Lately, just as I can (finally) afford the luxury of sleeping-in a little longer, the booming-sound of piling-works meanly awakens me these mornings. If I were having a dream about war; I'd be frantically startled-into-consciousness by the sound of artillery. I hope I don't fall off my bed after such a nightmare.

Continuing the chugging, grinding & whirring of heavy caterpillar-tracks(like those found on military tanks), massive motors & gigantic machinery complements the pounding staccato of the pile-driver. On good days, the "instruments" drag along dull metallic tunes.. On other days, the "performers" squeak, yawn, clash and clang with one another. One big orchestra that plays from sunrise till sunset.





I've found that the best way to appreciate the pounding-noise is to imagine squid-faced Davy Jones summoning the Kraken through the use of an on-board mechanically-wound percussion-system on board his ship, The Flying Dutchman*. (In the movie Pirates of the Caribbean 2:Dead Man's Chest, the use of that particular instrument generates a sound similar to that of a huge metal beam hitting the earth resulting in a highly-resonant "gong" sound.




God, I pray..
for grace to accept things I cannot change,
strength to change those which I can;
and wisdom to differentiate the two.

Less face, more Grace

I shall have to face it.
It was nothing else but my folly.
I lack the time-management skills every good student needs.
Wait, I think disciple; to execute the time-management skills, is what I lack.
Where did 2.33 years of N.S-training, 13years+ of formal-education and 23years+ of parental-upbringing go to?

I put out the flames of my rebellion now.
I should literally be whipped back into shape.
Like the people of Old Testament,
I should tear my clothes, shave my head, put on sackcloth and ashes, weep and wail as for an only son.

I have not been struck-down unrighteously.
Lord, by Your judgement, I have been be humbled.
I surrender the last six months of college to You.
With Your grace, I shall attempt what seems impossible!

Overwhelming...
Pent feelings and scary thoughts manifest themselves
when you're at your lowest of moods.
Then you long for the Encourager's hand to cover you,
to comfort and hide you from what lurks in the worldly woods.
But it gets difficult when things aren't as tangible
as your senses can perceive. It is then we must
continue to give-praise in spite of circumstances;
prevail in the face of steepness;
persistantly worship with all our being.

He never rejects a humbled, broken spirit.
We need not dwell too long in brokeness before
His Spirit reminds us of the miracle of salvation we
already received.

Love never fails.
Still, I need to know.
Purpose. Place.
Is this the yoke I should bear?

Lord,
I pray;
reveal Your will,
speak Your mind;
for your servant waits.

Grounded Cupid

'Twas 300-odd days ago,
on the postman i rested my hope
The next evening we let words flow,
A light rekindled as she spoke

Reviving sentimentalities,
we casually delight
each-other's faint memories;
funny how our paths reunite

And so began the wooing
that looked to a future
There was sincere purpose
and heartfelt gesture

Then slowly came the issues,
that begged to be revealed
Was your trust misused,
and thus remorse congealed?

I prayed for healing,
you searched your heart
Lord heard our pleading;
forgiveness He'd impart

Yet that was all,
but surely lasting-bliss
Though He took our fall
still something was amiss

We had reserved ourselves
before the elders spoke
Though babes in Christ,
we were unequally yoked

Just about a fortnight ago,
we were ministered to
Hearing Godly advice though
there were dangers exposed too

And so we agreed
that we'd let the Lord show
If we fit indeed
pray He'd let us know

Although it's tough when our heart's all silenced
I will trust with all my spirit, in His steadfast asylum

Drawing the 38th Parallel

It was a thorough and long discussion on things that had dawned upon us.
These new insights on matters-of-the-heart have proved to be compelling and challenging to our otherwise "ordinary(but still religious)" conceptions on the topic.

Perhaps there is Godly counsel yet to be sought; that step which we unwittingly jumped, proceeding to trust solely our 1st impressions, reflections and emotions. However innocently we had convened on the issue then, we must live with the ramifications of our actions.

I pray for God's presence to be with us as we offer-up our union for His sake.
Should He allow us to continue, then brighter, our Light must shine.
Yet if He bid us apart, then it shall be done amicably.

Grant Your children wisdom I pray.
In You we trust.
Amen.